The door to the cafeteria opened and I looked up instinctively, an image of Thomas flashing through my mind's eye. A queasy warmth hit me and I felt so wretchedly stupid I wanted to scream. It wasn't Thomas. It was never going to be Thomas. Figure it out, Reed.
"Are you all right?"
Somehow I lifted my eighty-pound head and looked up at Josh. He hovered at the end of the otherwise deserted cafeteria table with a tray full of doughnuts and chocolate milk. Boy took in more sugar before 9 a.m. than most five-year-olds did in a day. You'd think a place as pricey as Easton would make sure all their charges got four squares, but apparently that was not one of the perks the elite were paying for.
"M'fine," I mumbled. "Just wishing this bowl was a pillow."
I pushed my tray aside and rested my elbows on the table, taking
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a long, deep breath to try to crowd out the nausea. Josh sat down across from me and lifted his messenger bag over his head, placing it on the floor. He wore a blue and yellow rugby shirt with a green paint stain on one of the yellow stripes. His curls were product-free today, which meant they stuck out adorably in all directions.
Adorably. I wanted to flog myself. Thomas was dead. I was not supposed to be noticing that other guys were adorable.
Under the table, Josh fumbled with his bag. He slapped his hand to his mouth, then took a chug of his chocolate milk to help him swallow.
"What was that?" I asked.
"Vitamins," Josh said. "One a day keeps the doctor away."
"You are a parent's wet dream," I told him.
"Tell that to my parents," he deadpanned.
I smiled. It was nice that he could make me smile even in my current state of semi-consciousness.
Josh lowered his body toward the table a bit, in confab mode. I leaned in as well. "So, I've thought about it, and I've decided to go to the cops like Noelle said," he whispered.
He bit into a powdered-sugar doughnut and powdered sugar sprayed everywhere. I looked at him and wondered if I was dreaming. Did he really just tell me that he was going to rat out Thomas and then take a big old bite of doughnut? I couldn't even swallow one spoonful of cereal this morning and he seemed, well, fine. In fact, for the past few days, Josh had been keeping it together better
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than anyone else I knew, which made little to no sense. Thomas had been his roommate. His friend. And I hadn't even seen him cry once. But what did I know? Maybe he went back to his room and blubbered in private all night long. It wouldn't have been the first time someone around Easton kept a secret. I was starting to wonder if secrets were a prerequisite for admittance.
"You really think that's necessary?" I asked.
"Noelle was right," Josh said, chewing. "That guy she was talking about? Rick? He was Thomas's local supplier and he's a total wackjob. I would bet money he had something to do with this."
I took a deep breath, straightened my back for a second, then slumped again. "I don't know, Josh. Do we really want Thomas's parents to know all this stuff? I know he was into some scary crap, but he was trying to change. Did he tell you he was on his way to rehab the night he left?"
Josh blurted a laugh and took a sip of milk, smiling in mirth. I felt very hot all over.
"What?" I said.
Josh blinked at me and then his face fell. "Oh. You're serious," he said.
"Yes, I'm serious," I said, beyond offended.
Josh put his milk down and wiped his hands on his jeans. "Reed, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Thomas was the last person who was ever going to rehab. He was so wasted the last night he was here you could have wrung him out and served shots."
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The cafeteria had just become a Gravitron, whirling and tilting and heading for the sky. There was no way to focus, so I closed my eyes.
"What?" I said, my mouth dry.
"I came back from the library and he was on the phone screaming at Rick, so gone he couldn't even stand up straight," Josh whispered. "That's why I think Noelle might be right. Thomas was pretty livid, and I bet he said some stuff he wouldn't have said if he wasn't such a mess. I didn't think much of it at the time, because those two were always at each other's throats over something, but maybe this time he really pissed Rick off somehow."