Josh blinked at me and then his face fell. “Oh. You're serious,” he said.
“Yes, I'm serious,” I said, beyond offended.
Josh put his milk down and wiped his hands on his jeans. “Reed, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Thomas was the last person who was ever going to rehab. He was so wasted the last night he was here you could have wrung him out and served shots.”
The cafeteria had just become a Gravitron, whirling and tilting
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and heading for the sky. There was no way to focus, so I closed my eyes.
“What?” I said, my mouth dry.
“I came back from the library and he was on the phone screaming at Rick, so gone he couldn't even stand up straight,” Josh whispered. “That's why I think Noelle might be right. Thomas was pretty livid and I bet he said some stuff he wouldn't have said if he wasn't such a mess. I didn't think much of it at the time, because those two were always at each other's throats over something, but maybe this time he really pissed Rick off somehow.”
I pressed the heel of my hand into my forehead, trying to make sense of all of this. Thomas was drunk? But that morning he had been so sincere about quitting. And he'd left me that note. He was going to some holistic treatment center. He was getting help.
Had that all been a lie?
“This doesn't make any sense,” I said aloud.
“What?” Josh asked.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why would he leave me that note if he wasn't actually planning on leaving? I would have been kind of suspicious if I had found the note that night and then seen him on campus the next day. So he must have been planning on going somewhere. But where?
“Maybe it was just a last hurrah,” I suggested. “Maybe he wanted to get drunk one last time before going to rehab?”
It sounded totally pathetic even as I said it. So pathetic that Josh actually had pity in his eyes.
“Reed, what makes you so sure that Thomas was going to rehab?” he asked gently.
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The double doors opened and sunlight poured in. Noelle, Ariana, Taylor, and Kiran strode through and headed straight for the breakfast line. I didn't want them to hear any of this and start speculating. We had to talk fast.
“He left me a note,” I confessed quickly. “I found it in one of my books. He said he was going to a treatment center and not to try to find him. He said he was leaving that night.”
Josh laughed derisively and shook his head. “Leave it to Pearson. I bet the last words out of his mouth were a lie.”
A thump of dread warmed my insides. “What do you mean?”
Josh looked at me as if he'd just realized who he was talking to. “Nothing. Forget it,” he said.
“Josh--”
“It's just...” He crumpled a napkin and squeezed it in his fist. “I just don't think that Thomas ever fully appreciated what he had when he had you, that's all.”
My mouth fell open slightly and I snapped it closed. Josh stared at me intently. No averted eyes, no quick change of subject. He really meant what he had just said. I was both flattered and completely thrown. He'd just implied that Thomas had lied to me nonstop . . . and complimented me in the same breath.
“Reed, you have to show that note to the police,” Josh said.
“How do you know I haven't?” I asked.
“Have you?”
“No,” I admitted miserably.
“It's evidence,” Josh said. “It might be the last thing Thomas ever wrote. They need to see it.”