Private (Private 1)

“Hi, Dad. It’s me.”

“Now, Reed—”

“Reed! Hi, kiddo!” His voice completely changed and the rush

“I’m not going to change my mind,” I told him, earning a reso-

of guilt was overwhelming. He sounded excited. Happy even. I

lute nod from Noelle. “She’ll ruin everything. We both know it.

glanced helplessly at Noelle. She gave me a stern look.

Besides, think of all the money you’ll save—”

148

K A T E B R I A N

P R I V A T E

149

I glanced at Noelle. Saw her register this. I had just shown her And that was all I needed. I couldn’t crumble in front of her.

my cards. No going back now.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said honestly. “I can’t do it.”

“Oh, Reed. It’s not about the money,” my father said. “Don’t do

“I wish you didn’t have so much anger,” he said, sounding sad

this—”

and resigned.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said, ready to burst into tears for any num-You try growing up in that household and coming out all

ber of reasons. “I don’t want you to come and I’m not gonna change rainbows and unicorns.

my mind.”

“Yeah. Me too,” I said.

There was a long pause. I imagined him in the kitchen, lowering Noelle looked confused. I took a deep breath. This had gone on

his heavy frame onto one of the wooden chairs around the table. His long enough. I needed to get off the phone. I needed to get off and slumped shoulders. His hand on his face. I was going to cry at any hit something. “I have to go now, Dad. We have to go to dinner.”

second.

“Okay. Reed, if you change your mind . . . ,” he said hopefully. So

“What am I going to tell your mother?” he said finally. “She’s

hopefully it killed.

been in so much pain lately. . . .”