Private (Private 1)

A IS THE NEW C

fumbled with the pages and finally turned it over. There was a big, fat A right next to my name.

“Wow. Go you,” Constance said, leaning over.

I beamed, tingling with triumph. This was going to be a very

good day.

My heart pounded as Mr. Barber handed back our most recent quiz.

It was the first test I had taken using Taylor’s new study method, and although I had felt like I knew all the answers when I was filling them in, I was still tense. I had to do well on this. Later in the day I’d be getting back more grades, and I felt like whatever I had scored on this one would set the tone for the rest of my classes. If all did not go well, my days were numbered. I thought of Billings and my afternoon with the girls. I thought of Thomas. I thought of all the things I would lose if I had somehow screwed this up.

Then I thought of my mother. Of the gray walls of Croton High.

Of the nothingness I would have to go back to.

I could not go back.

I stared at the cover of my notebook as Barber walked up and

down the aisles, using every ounce of willpower I had in me not to mark his progress.

And then his shadow fell across my desk. I held my breath.

“Miss Brennan,” he said.

P R I V A T E

173

“Not yet,” I said, my throat dry. “I haven’t seen him.”

“Well, come on. He’s always lurking around the cafeteria before dinner. Let’s tell him,” Taylor said, grabbing my hand.

I laughed as she pulled me across the quad. I felt weightless and A DOSE OF REALITY

free. I couldn’t stop smiling.

Thomas wasn’t near the door as he sometimes was, but this didn’t deter Taylor. She walked me right around the north side of the

building and there he was, surrounded by his usual posse . . .

. . . handing over a small bag containing half a dozen white pills.

“I aced it! All of it. Taylor, you saved my life.”

Taking a crisp, folded bill and slipping it into his pocket.

Taylor’s face shone with pride. We were on our way to dinner

I stopped in my tracks. The ground tilted beneath me. I broke

and a cool wind had kicked up, pulling the first yellow leaves from out into a cold sweat and all of the sudden I understood everything.

the trees. It sent Taylor’s golden curls dancing around her cheeks.

Thomas was dealing drugs? Thomas was dealing drugs. Right