196
GOOD- BYE FOR NOW
I gazed across the aqua-blue ocean, watching the waves as they lapped at the white sand. Upton's arms were wrapped around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder. My heart felt heavy and full. I took a deep breath and let it go, just to see if I could lessen its load, but somehow it felt even heavier.
"What are you thinking?" Upton asked quietly.
"I'm thinking that I'm really going to miss you."
He chuckled, sending a pleasant shiver through my chest. "You sound surprised."
I smiled and sighed again. In a way, I was surprised. I couldn't believe that, in such a short time, everything about him had become so familiar to me. The warmth of his skin, the roughness of his cheek on the mornings he didn't shave, the crisp scent of his clothing, the sexy lilt of his accent. And I was going to miss every last bit of it. Every last bit of him.
197
In a little while, we were going to jet off in different directions, for distant corners of the world. And as much as I knew that saying good-bye was going to hurt, I had to wonder . . . did I really want to be tethered to someone? Did I want to go back to Easton as Upton's girlfriend and have to second-guess myself every time I flirted or needed a date for a party or met a guy I really liked? It kind of went against the whole carpe diem lifestyle I'd promised myself I'd have back when I was on the island.
I had to say something. I had to be honest with him. And I had to get it over with before my heart burst.
"Upton, about this whole long-distance thing," I said, turning to face him. He kept his arms around my waist so that our faces were extremely close.
"You're goingto get all practical on me now, aren't you?" he asked, giving me a quick kiss.
"It's just..." I took a deep breath and fiddled with the buttons on his white linen shirt. "It doesn't seem all that realistic."
"I know," he said.
I glanced up at him, feeling both hopeful and disappointed at the same time. Is it wrong that part of me wanted him to fight me on this? "You do?"
"Well, I can't expect a girl like you to just cloister yourself away, can I?" he said with a smirk. He tucked my hair behind my ear, then ran his hand down the length of it.
"It's not that I don't care about you ... I mean, I do," I said in a rush. "It's just, I've got this whole new seize-the-day thing going on and--"
198
"After three near-death experiences and six days trapped on a deserted island byyourself, I supposed that's to be expected," he said with a shrug.
I laughed. "So you understand?"
"Of course," he replied. "But does this mean it's over and done? No more Reed at all? I've got to quit you full stop? No calls or texts or anything? Because I don't think I'm ready for that."
My smile brightened. "I don't think we have to be that drastic," I said, pulling him closer. "What if we say we'll stay in touch and just.. . see what happens? "
"And maybe see each other over spring break? I mean, if neither of us is with anyone else," he clarified quickly. "Because my parents have this villa in southern Italy that you would just adore."
"Southern Italy? I think I could handle that," I said, resting my cheek against his chest. "They don't have deserted islands there, do they?"
"None that I'm aware of. But if they do, I promise to have them populated before March," he joked, holding me tightly.
"I would appreciate that," I replied.
We stood like that for a while, for what seemed like a very long time, until the tide started to come in and the cool water lapped at our feet.
"Reed! They're loadingup the car. We've gotta go!" Noelle shouted from the patio outside her house.
"I suppose we should get this over with," Upton said finally.
My heart dropped. "Do we have to?"