“Dirk, what on Earth are you doing in here?”
He smiled, and my knees went weak. God, that smile of his was like kryptonite. For a moment, I couldn’t help but wonder how many women had fallen prey to it.
He held up the bottle. “I’m enjoying a drink.”
I frowned and walked over, sitting in the chair across from him. With a quick glance at the nearly empty whiskey bottle, I replied, “It looks to me like you’re getting drunk.”
He shrugged. “Call it whatever you want. Grab a glass.”
I shook my head as a rush of panic hit me. For a moment, I felt like I was in my father’s office, staring at the shell of a man he had become. “No, thank you.”
He lifted his brows. “No? You’re missing out.”
When I looked into Dirk’s eyes, I didn’t recognize the man I was hopelessly in love with. “Dirk, this is only a temporary fix. It won’t help your pain any.”
A humorless laugh burst from his mouth. “It sure as hell helps, Bugs.”
I looked down at my hands and quickly said a prayer that Dirk didn’t follow the same path my father had, and for God to give me the words to help his hurting heart.
He took in a deep breath and exhaled. The smell of the whiskey on his breath nearly knocked me over. “Why are you in here, Bugs?”
I smiled and shook my head. “You and that nickname.”
His eyes lit up for a moment, and I felt my stomach flip. I hadn’t been able to make him smile like that in a long time. It was nice to know I still could. At least when he was drunk, anyway.
“I like that nickname.”
“I’m not afraid of bugs anymore, Dirk.”
“No?”
I slowly shook my head. “No.”
He smiled. “What are you afraid of now?”
My breath caught in my throat.
You.
Losing you again.
“Not mattering to anyone, I guess,” I replied with a shrug. It was an honest answer.
He leaned forward and stared at me. His mouth opened then shut again as he sat back in his chair. God, how I wished I could have known what he was about to say.
A light rap on the office door had me swinging around to see a woman walk in.
“Got my glass of wine!” She froze when she saw me. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here with you, Dirk.”
I turned back and glared at Dirk. He was staring at the woman with a completely blank expression. He must have been so drunk he’d forgotten he came in here with a woman.
“I’ll just, um…head on back out,” she stated. She quickly opened the office door once more and then shut it softly behind her.
I stood and started for the door.
“Merit.”
When I didn’t stop, he called out my name louder.
“Merit, stop!”
“It’s fine, Dirk. If booze and a stranger is what you need to help you get through this day, then who am I to stand in the way or judge you.”
I reached for the doorknob.
“Will you stop for a second, please?”
I paused at the door when I heard the pleading in his voice. I took in a few deep breaths, willing myself to simply open it and leave. But instead I just stood there, feeling like that same young girl who would have given anything to have this man realize how much she loved him.
“I wasn’t going to fuck anyone.”
His words felt like a slap for some reason, and I flinched before I said, “You’re a grown man, Dirk. I’ll send her back in.”
“She’s my goddamn cousin, Merit. If I was going to fuck someone, I’d want it to be you.”
My mouth fell open, and I turned to look at him. “Excuse me?”
He shook his head and cursed. “I didn’t mean it like that.” His words were slow and mumbled. Lord, how much of that whiskey had he drank?
“I think you need to stop drinking. Why don’t you let me take you home?”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to go home. Not without my dad there.”
The sadness in his voice killed me. The mixture of emotions I was feeling about drove me mad. His words from moments ago played in my head on repeat.
“If I was going to fuck someone, I’d want it to be you.”
My stomach flipped slightly at the idea of being with Dirk again. The next words out of my mouth came before I even had a chance to think. “Do you want to come to my house?”
Oh Lord, Merit. Why?
“I have a guest bedroom,” I quickly added.
Dirk dropped his head back against the chair, and I brought my hand to my mouth when I saw the tears roll down his cheeks.
Walking over toward him, I pulled my phone out of my dress pocket and hit a number.
“Hey, where are you? I haven’t seen you in at least an hour and a half, if not more,” Michael said.