His brown hair had been cut short recently, and his face was unshaven. My fingers itched to touch the stubble. I thought about the small scar on his chin and leaned in closer to see if I could spot it. Dirk had cut it climbing down the tree my father had built our treehouse in. He’d been rushing down to help me because I’d fallen and broken my arm. I was crying so hard. I still remembered how my heart felt like it stopped when he slipped and fell himself. He didn’t break anything, but he’d cut his chin open. I’d stopped crying the moment I saw the blood on his face. My ten-year-old self had been so worried. Dirk had cupped my face in his hands and made me look at him. I had been fixated on his bloody chin.
“Look at me, Bugs! Are you okay?”
I’d tried to talk, but when I looked into those green eyes, I was lost. He’d wiped my tears away with his thumbs, and I’d believed with all my heart that Dirk Littlewood would never hurt me.
“Stupid little girl,” I whispered as I leaned over and lightly traced where the scar was. “Oh, Dirk. Why couldn’t you see me instead of her?”
Quickly, I yanked my hand away and stood. I wrapped my arms around my suddenly too-cold body and whispered, “Good night, Dirk.”
Then I bolted up the steps to my room like a coward.
I woke the next morning to the smell of coffee and bacon. With a moan, I rolled over and saw it was six thirty. I slowly sat up in bed, and it took a few seconds for everything to sink in.
Dirk was here.
“Oh God,” I said as panic hit me like a bolt of lightning.
Slipping out of the covers, I padded my way to my bathroom. After going to the restroom, brushing my teeth, and pulling my hair up in a ponytail, I walked back into the bedroom. I took out a pair of yoga pants and the first t-shirt I found in my drawer. After I got dressed, I slipped on my running shoes and headed downstairs.
I slowed when I heard Dirk talking on the phone.
“I’m fine, and I’m sorry I left like that, Mom.”
Sadness filled my chest.
“I’m at Merit’s. Yeah, I know she loved Dad, too. The thought of her being alone seemed wrong.”
I frowned. He was lying to his mother about getting drunk last night. Had that thought about me even crossed his mind? I doubted it, but I didn’t blame him for not thinking of me. He had enough on his mind with his own father’s death to worry about how I was handling it.
“I’m probably going to be leaving here soon. I’ll call you on my way home.”
The sound of something sizzling made my stomach growl. I pressed my hand over it, willing it to hush. Then I remembered I had a child growing in there, and I really needed to eat.
I pushed off the wall I had pressed myself against and walked into the kitchen.
“Sleeping Beauty just woke up, so I’m going to let you go.” He smiled. “Mom says hi, Merit.”
“Tell her I say good morning,” I replied with a smile that I hoped seemed meaningful.
“She says good morning,” he said into the phone.
Dirk’s eyes moved over my body before they met mine. I turned and looked at the stove.
Cooked bacon sat off to the side, and he was frying up some eggs. My stomach growled again, and I looked at him sheepishly to see if he’d heard it. The smile on his face said he had.
“I’ll see you soon, Mom. I love you, too.”
My heart jumped a little at his words. I didn’t want to admit to myself how much I longed to hear him utter those words to me.
No. No. No. Merit, snap out of it.
Suddenly, I remembered his words to Brock last night about wanting to get laid. Then, his words about wanting it to be me. Had he even meant that? Or was he simply looking for sex?
When Dirk slid his phone into his back pocket, he leaned against the counter and gave me the sexiest smile I’d ever seen. Goodness, did the man practice that smile in the mirror every day?
“How are you even up and moving with the amount of whiskey you had last night?” I asked.
He shrugged, then pointed to the coffee machine I hadn’t touched since I’d moved in. I wasn’t a big fan of coffee but would drink it on occasion, though the last few weeks the idea of it made me nauseous. The fact that I hadn’t had any morning sickness over the last few days actually surprised me. Of course, it could have been all the stress. I needed to make an appointment with a doctor, and soon.