I forced myself to smile. “That’s nice.”
“We finally got the baby room finished, and now we’re just waiting.”
“I’m sure Ty is excited. I’m sure you both are.”
We used the restroom and then stood in front of the sinks as we washed our hands. Then I found myself saying the one thing I didn’t want to. I’d already said it once before, and I knew if I said it again it would make me seem like a jealous idiot.
“You and Dirk seem pretty close.”
Her eyes met mine in the mirror. “He’s been a good friend. That’s all we’ve ever been, though, friends. There’s never been an attraction there.”
I smiled and tried like hell to make it genuine. I knew there wasn’t anything between them. I was jealous of the friendship they shared. How in the hell was I supposed to explain that to her when I couldn’t even figure it out myself? “Well, I better get back to Janice. It was nice seeing you, Kaylee. Enjoy your lunch with Ty and Dirk.”
When I turned to leave, Kaylee reached for my arm. “Merit, you believe me, don’t you?”
“I’m sorry?” I asked.
“About Dirk. Nothing has ever happened between us. He’s like the brother I never had.”
“You don’t owe me any explanations, Kaylee. None at all.”
She smiled and then let out a little laugh. “I promised Lincoln and Timberlynn I would stay out of this, but, Merit, you have to see the way he looks at you. Surely you have to know how he feels about you.”
I shook my head and sighed. “Kaylee, I heard with my own ears, straight out of Dirk’s mouth, that he isn’t looking for a relationship with me. And our past is very…complicated.”
“Why? What happened between you?”
My eyes stung, and I cursed these damn hormones. “It’s not what happened between us, it’s who came between us.”
“Who?” she asked before she pieced it together. “Kaci?”
I gave her a wobbly smile and cleared my throat. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go.”
I quickly spun on my heels, reached for the door, and bolted out of the bathroom like the damn coward I was.
“You know, if you move that food around just enough, you might be able to make a picture.”
I laughed and placed my fork down. “I’m sorry, Janice.”
“You don’t need to say you’re sorry. This is hard, I get it. Have you thought about talking to anyone?”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I leaned back in the booth and stared at her.
“A therapist. Merit, I may have been absent for a number of years, but I do remember how close you were to not only Dirk, but to his family. How are you handling Brad’s death?”
I blew out a breath and chanced a peek at Dirk. He was smiling at something Ty was saying, but even from this distance I could see the emptiness on his face.
“Fine. I guess,” I said as I shrugged. “I think about him not knowing this baby, and that breaks my heart. I think about how lost he must feel. And how I have my own issues with my father. But that’s a story for another day.”
Janice nodded. “Well, right now, as your doctor and your friend, I’m worried about you. Stress isn’t good during a pregnancy. I’m going to send you the name of someone I know here in town. If it all becomes too much, please call her.”
I went to speak and tell her it wasn’t necessary when she held up her hand. “You don’t have to go and talk to them if you don’t want to. I’m simply asking you to keep their number handy.”
“I’ll take the number, but I’m not promising anything.”
The corner of her mouth rose as if she believed she had won this round. “I forgot to tell you, you’ll want to take prenatal vitamins, so I’ll call that in for you when I get back to the office. Start those as soon as you can.”
I nodded as I bit down on my bottom lip. “Okay, will do. Any certain diet I should follow?”
She shook her head and popped the last of her French fries into her mouth. “No, not really. You seem to be in really good shape. I will ask that you go from running to walking.”
I lifted a brow. “Really? Okay.”
“It’s okay to run since you mentioned you’ve been doing it for years, but I personally believe walking is better on your body. Eat lots of fruits and veggies, it’ll be good for you both.”
“Merit.”
Dirk’s voice had me nearly jumping out of my own damn skin. I looked up to see him standing there, staring down at me with a concerned expression etched on his face.
For a moment, I forgot how to talk. “D-Dirk.”
It was all I could say. Panic welled up inside of me as I wondered how much of that conversation he had heard.