Tanner laughed. “Please, as if Dirk has any desire to settle down. I believe he once said hell would freeze over before he got married and had a baby.”
I couldn’t even force myself to reply. To even agree or disagree with him. I had felt like that, not that long ago. Now I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. What I wanted. My life was a complete fucking mess.
“Someone better call Brock; you know he’s waiting on pins and needles,” Tanner said, breaking me from my thoughts.
Ty laughed. “I will. See you in a few minutes, Dirk.”
I nodded and watched Ty and Tanner walk off. Ty pulled out his phone as Tanner laughed at something that was said between them.
Turning away, I headed over to some chairs and sat down. The need to bury my head between my legs grew by the second as my chest got tighter and tighter. I didn’t even have time to process all of this. I needed time. I needed a drink. I needed to get the hell out of there.
I glanced around to see that I was alone in the waiting room. Timberlynn and Lincoln were standing down the hallway, outside of Kaylee’s door, both of them talking and smiling with one of the nurses.
Sitting there, alone, I tried to figure out what to do. I wanted to go to Merit and tell her how fucking shitty I thought it was she had kept this from me. I wanted to get in my truck and drive as far away as I could. I wanted to climb onto the back of a bull and forget everything, even if for only a few seconds.
I wanted to talk to my father.
I dropped my head, and I wasn’t sure how long I sat there before I felt someone beside me.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Tanner asked as he sat down next to me. “You look like someone just delivered some bad news. You did mean it, right, that you’re happy for Ty and Kaylee?”
My body jerked. If Tanner thought I harbored feelings for Kaylee, then it made sense Merit would, as well. I slid my fingers through my hair and sighed. “I meant every word. I’m so damn happy for them.”
Tanner lifted a brow and gave me a look that said he knew I was talking bullshit. “Only minutes ago you were pacing, worried out of your mind. Then you left and came back, and now you’re acting like someone took your favorite dog.”
I brought my hand to the back of my neck and rubbed at the ache. “Did you meet the baby?”
He smiled, clearly not caring that I changed the subject. “I did. My mother is hogging her right now, and Dad’s in line to be next.”
I gave him a genuine smile, but I felt it quickly fade away.
“Okay, now that we got the baby out of the way, what’s going on, Dirk?”
I drew in a deep breath and then slowly exhaled. “I found out someone has been keeping a pretty big secret from me. I’m not sure if I’m angry, scared, happy, sad, or just downright confused as fuck. Right now, I just feel numb,” I said with a humorless chuckle.
With a thoughtful look, Tanner asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“What I’m about to tell you, I need you to keep in confidence. And by that, I mean do not even tell Timberlynn.”
He frowned. “I don’t lie to my wife, Dirk.”
“I’m not asking you to lie, Tanner. I need you to keep something in confidence for a bit—there’s a difference.”
He nodded. “Okay. You know I will if you ask me to.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. Then, I laughed. This all felt like a damn dream. The things I once wanted, I wasn’t so sure about anymore. The things I once thought I’d never want, I was suddenly considering. It was confusing as hell.
“Did you see me leave with Janice?” I asked as I turned my gaze to his.
His brows drew in tighter. “Yes.”
“When she almost dropped the files, I grabbed them and saw there was one with Merit’s name on it.”
He looked confused. “Okay, that’s not unusual.”
I stared at him.
“Why do I feel like there’s more to this, Dirk?”
I swallowed hard. “Because there is. A lot more.”
“Okay, are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?”
With my voice lowered, I replied, “Merit’s pregnant. With my baby.”
Tanner opened and closed his mouth a few times before he finally slammed it shut. He sat there.
Speechless.
The moment I said the words out loud to another person, everything suddenly became so very real.
I was going to be a father.
Merit was carrying my baby.
Tanner quickly regained his composure. He glanced around the waiting room. It was only the two of us. Timberlynn and Lincoln must have gone back into the room with Kaylee, Ty, and Ty’s folks. “What are you going do?” he asked.