Pushing You Away - Noah & Katie (Ex-Con Duet 3)

“I understand, but please just remember Tyler and I had our second chance after he got out of prison. I really believe that can happen for you two.”

I snort, nearly choking. “I wouldn’t be placing bets on that, babe.”

He knew what I was going through, yet he couldn’t even spare five minutes to write back. I never blamed him for Gabe’s death, never got angry with him for getting in our business, and never wanted him to go to prison for what happened. I knew Gabe was cheating, and the fact his mistress was there that night made the whole situation worse. But to be ghosted by my best friend when I just wanted to support him and make sure he was okay? I was devastated. In fact, if he shows up on my front porch, I won’t think twice about shoving him right on his ass.

“Never say never.” She smirks.

“I’m too hurt to give him a chance,” I admit. “I have too much pent-up anger toward him, and the more I think about it, the madder I get.”

“Okay, sorry. I won’t bring it up again.”

“I know he’s your brother, so it’s gonna come up, but now you know how I feel about it all.”

“So I better warn him to wear a bulletproof vest if he’s around you.” She’s laughing, but I glare at her. “Okay, sorry, I’m done now.”

I finish walking Gemma through the house, explaining what I want to do and what colors I want to paint the walls. Owen’s an only child, so he’ll have his own space upstairs. We barely fit in the place we’re renting right now, so I can’t wait to give him the home he deserves.

“Just so you know…um, you-know-who will be working with Tyler at the gym. But I hope you’ll come and see it once things are ready for the grand opening.”

I shake my head at how she tries to avoid using his name. “It’s fine, Gemma. Just let me know when he’s not there, and I’ll come visit. I’m sure Owen would love to see it too.” I give her a hug when we reach the front door. “We’re very proud of you guys.”

“Thank you, I am too. I can’t believe it’s really happening. With my dad retiring, it feels like the perfect timing.”

“Once this house is finally done, I’ll actually have time to work out again. Looking forward to that even though I’ll probably just hang out at the juice bar.”

We laugh, and I tell her to give me every update she gets on the baby. I still can’t believe she’s pregnant. I wish our kids were closer in age, but that’s what happens when one of us gets pregnant before we can even legally drink.

Since I’m kid-free for the night and there’s literally nothing to do in Lawton Ridge, Alabama, in January, I finish up at the house, then head home for some solo drinking and Netflix bingeing.

The toxic combination means I’m left to my own thoughts, which have often led me down a path of self-loathing and pity. Usually after I tuck Owen in, I go to bed, but tonight, I’m sucking down wine and watching a show about a nurse moving to a small town and falling for the local bartender.

“Don’t do it…” I slur. “Sex only leads to heartbreak.”

Not that I’d really know. I haven’t had sex in…a long-ass time. I didn't even think about dating until three years after Gabe passed, and even then, it felt weird and wrong. It was never anything serious, but since I always put my kid and job first, they usually bailed before things could progress. The last time I went out with a man was over a year ago…which was the last time I had sex. But that’s what Channing, my vibrator, is for.

After my fourth glass of wine, the TV screen becomes blurry, so I decide to call it a night. I only drink every once in a while, making me a lightweight, but since I don’t have to get up early with Owen, I splurge. I’ll undoubtedly pay for it tomorrow, but that’s future Katie’s problem.

As I crawl under the covers, I sink into the bed and seek warmth. I’ve slept alone for so long now, aside from when Owen crawls in when he has bad dreams, that I’m accustomed to sleeping in the middle. It’s probably why no guy has ever wanted to stay with me long. I’m unapologetically independent, and most guys want to feel needed. The truth is, I haven’t needed a man for anything in more than a decade.

My eyelids feel heavy, and as I drift off, images of the day they walked Noah out of the courtroom in handcuffs surface. At first, I was in shock he took the plea deal, but the lawyers said he risked a longer sentence if he went to trial. I know he didn’t intend to hurt Gabe, but his actions led to his death, and justice was needed.