Closing my eyes, shivers ripple through my body.
“You really think I’d leave you?” he asks, his tone sounding incredulous. As if it’s a farfetched idea.
Nodding, a desperate sound escapes my lips.
“How can you think something like that?” The exasperation grows in his voice. “After everything we’ve shared, all the times I’ve reassured you of my love, of how much you mean to me? Why?”
“It’s… just… there.” I suck in a suffocating breath. “It’s always there.”
“Did I do or say something to make you think that?” Hearing how torn up he is, makes me feel awful, and I can only shake my head. “Then what, Dash? We’ve always been solid. Why would you doubt me now?”
I let out another sob, and it makes me sputter, “I don’t doubt you.”
This time Christopher reaches for my face, and taking hold of my chin, he turns my head so I’ll look at him. “Dash, please open up to me.”
Our eyes lock, and seeing the worry and heartache in his gaze, makes the tears rush to the surface.
“One day… you’re going… realize… you can do so much better… than me.” The words are followed by a sharp, bitter taste of bile.
“Never,” he rasps, his features tightening even more. “Never.”
The words I was forced to believe – that were etched into my skin – spills from me with heaving breaths, “You deserve a trophy wife. Not someone like me. Not something so… broken.”
Christopher moves his hands up, framing my face. His eyes shine with an intense light as he groans, “You’re not broken, Dash. You went through hell, and you just need time to heal.” He moves closer to me, his hands sliding down to the sides of my neck. “Look at me.” My eyes dart up to his. “Tell me what happened. Please.”
With my gaze locked on his, I feel torn. It’s becoming too much for me to carry alone, but…
Chapter 26
CHRISTOPHER
I can see she’s starting to waver, and it has me saying, “Tell me.”
She begins to lower her eyes, whispering, “I don’t want you looking at me differently.”
I nudge her face back up. “That will never happen. Okay?” I press a hand to my chest. “You know me. Trust me, Dash.”
God, just let me in.
She brings her legs up, tucking them under her, and then she moves forward until she’s squashed against my side. I keep still until she wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her face against my chest.
Bringing my arms up, I hold her to me, and then I wait, praying she’ll open up to me.
“He… he,” she whispers, and I duck my head closer, so I can hear better. “He hurt me.”
I press a kiss to her hair, then keep still again.
“He wouldn’t give me food,” she finally begins to talk. “He wanted me to tell him… I… I… I…” She pauses, swallowing hard. “He wanted me to say things, and when I didn’t, he’d hit me, or he’d take the food away.”
When she keeps quiet, I ask, “Would you be able to tell me what he wanted you to say, so we know which phrases to avoid?”
Dash doesn’t say anything for a long moment, but I feel her tensing, and then her body jerks. “He… he wanted me to say I l-l-l-love… him.”
I press another kiss to her hair, tightening my hold around her. “And?”
“That I’m sorry for betraying him.” This time the words come easier.
When she keeps quiet again, I ask, “What else did he say to you?”
She gasps and shakes her head.
Lowering my mouth to her forehead, I murmur, “Tell me.”
Her arms tighten around me. “That I needed to lose weight.” She begins to breathe faster, and I just know we’re getting to what traumatized her most. “That he’s the best I can do. That you’d get tired of me. That you need a trophy wife.”
When she doesn’t say anything else, I move my hand to her chin, nudging her face up until our eyes meet. “You know none of what he said is true, right?”
She nods, but I can see in her eyes she believes the fucking words he spewed. The fucker has undone everything I did to build her back up after they broke up.
“Dash, I want only you. I’ll only ever want you.” I’ll say the words a million times every fucking day if that’s what it takes. “You’re beautiful. You don’t need to lose weight. I don’t want a damn empty-headed trophy. I want you.”
Tears begin to shine in her eyes, and I know I’m getting through to her. Leaning closer, I press a soft kiss to her lips. “There’s only you.”
Knowing we’ve only begun to scratch the surface, I say, “I’ve picked up that you struggle with decisions. Why?”
Her eyes lower to my shirt. “I’m just scared I’ll do something to upset you.”