“This situation is hardly ideal in that respect.”
His understatement makes me open my eyes. “You want kids.”
“Of course I want kids.” He shrugs as if this is a given. “I always have. Not simply to continue my line. I…” Malachi glances away and clenches his jaw. “I want a family.”
The way he says it. Like it’s a sin to be ashamed of. Maybe it is in our world, where marriages and children are political right down to their very core. There are no love matches in my father’s compound, no matter what some there would like to believe. “I see.”
“Maybe it’s foolish to want something that so few of our people have, but I want it all the same.”
I know what he means even without him explicitly saying it. “There does seem to be a dearth of happy childhoods among vampires.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
I try to picture what he’s saying. A happy childhood. I’ve seen it represented fictionally, but a part of me always believed it to be exactly that—fiction. Even the humans manage to fuck up their kids in astronomical numbers, and most of them are attempting to marry and procreate because of love, rather than politics. The odds are not in our favor.
They’re especially not in our favor with this current situation.
I don’t want to ask the question, but I need to know the answer. “What happens if I get pregnant and you’re not the father?” Even with Rylan attempting to stay out of the race to impregnate me, Wolf and I have sex nearly as often as Malachi and I do.
He shrugs. “It doesn’t matter to me. I’ve made my choice.”
As if it’s just that simple. “If we broke the bond and one of them got me pregnant instead… Malachi, you’d be free. Free for the first time in decades. You should be focusing on that instead of tying yourself to a sinking ship.”
“Mina.”
Gods, the way he says my name. It makes me shiver. “Yes?”
“I respect your ability to make decisions for yourself enough to stand by while Wolf courts a demon, even though I don’t agree with it. Give me the courtesy of returning the favor.”
I open my mouth to continue arguing, but I don’t have a leg to stand on. He’s right. No matter what I think, he’s more than capable of making his own choices. I swallow hard. “Okay. Sorry. I just don’t want you to end up regretting…”
“Regretting you.” Malachi gives me a small sliver of a smile. “Impossible. You’ve crashed into my life with all the subtlety of a bomb detonating, but it’s been refreshing.” He turns us toward the farmhouse. “Now, let’s get inside and discuss next steps.”
And that’s that.
I’m completely unsurprised to step through the door and find that Wolf and Rylan both beat us here. Neither of them were weighed down with carrying me, or having that conversation out in the field before entering. That said… I glance at Wolf. “How did you know we moved?”
“Rylan caught me on the way back.” He hops onto the faded counter and rubs his hands together. “I should have news on the demon front within a day or two. Those bastards like to play hard to get.”
Malachi appears in the doorway. “Everything is secure.”
“I told you it was.” Rylan is staring out the window as if he’d rather be anywhere but here. I can’t exactly blame him, but I won’t pretend that his attitude isn’t grating on me. Obviously things aren’t going to magically change between us just because of what happened last night, but would it kill the asshole to look at me?
Malachi moves to lean against the counter next to Wolf. “We can’t keep operating like this. The demon deal is a long shot, but even if we remove the bond, it won’t remove the threat Cornelius represents. We need to know what he knows.”
Finally, Rylan turns from the window. “You want to take one of his men.”
“Yes.”
“It won’t be easy. We’ll have to kill the rest of the scouting party.”
“I’m aware.”
I look between them. “If it’s too dangerous—”
“It’s not.” Rylan cuts a hand through the air. “Malachi and I are more than capable of dealing with a handful of Cornelius’s dogs. It will incite him to send more next time, but Malachi’s right. We need the information.”
Malachi crosses his arms over his large chest. “It was Mina’s idea.”
“I see.” Rylan clenches his jaw and seems to make himself look at me. He might have an expression like he’s chewing on rocks, but even he can’t mask the heat in his dark eyes.
An answering heat licks through me, but I shove down the sensation. Now isn’t the time, and he won’t thank me for it. “The sooner we do this, the better.”
Chapter 7
Wolf kicks out his heels and grabs Malachi’s shoulder when it looks like the larger man is about to speak. “We know you don’t like leaving the pretty little dhampir alone, but she won’t be alone. She’ll be with me.”