That should make me happy, right? After all, the only thing I want is what I’ve wanted since I was old enough to watch my hopes turn to ash. Freedom. No vampires to speak of. A chance to figure out my own way. And hopefully not stumble right into a government facility that will spend the rest of my life doing experiments on me.
I drop my gaze, but Malachi plants his hand on the bed and leans down until it’s more awkward to avoid his gaze than to look at him. I still can’t read the expression on his face. “We won’t leave you hanging.”
Something like hope flutters in my chest and I want nothing more than to squash it. “You’ve been locked up here a long time, Malachi. You’re not in any position to offer me protection.” Which isn’t what he’s offering anyway. He said they won’t leave me hanging. They. I shake my head. “And you can’t speak for them.”
“No, I can’t.” He doesn’t move. “But I’m speaking for me. I want you to stay with me. If that’s not what you want, we’ll figure out a way for you to land safely. I give you my word.”
There’s no reason to trust him. We’ve known each other a tiny fraction of a moment and he might be a liar in addition to everything else. I can’t help trusting him all the same. “Okay,” I whisper.
“Okay?”
Gods, why does he always make me say it? I know, though, don’t I? “Okay, let’s try this.”
15
I expect us to get right down to business, but apparently that’s not the plan. Rylan leaves, muttering something about preparations. Wolf plants a devastating kiss on my mouth and then he leaves, too. They couldn’t be more obvious if they’d hand painted a sign saying We’ll give you two time to talk.
Malachi holds out his hand. “Let’s go find you something to eat.”
I’m starving, but I’m so nervous, I don’t know if I can eat. It’s more than the sex that has my stomach tying itself in knots. They’re putting a lot of hope in something that’s barely more than a theory. “This might not work.”
He tugs me off the bed and across the room to the door. “If it doesn’t, we’ll figure out something else.”
How can he be so calm at a moment like this? His very freedom is on the line. “Malachi…” I dig in my heels a little and he slows to a stop. “You’re just going to do this on Rylan’s say-so? The longer we put off me taking that pill, the less likely it is to work.” I don’t know what the odds are that I’m pregnant. I know how cycles work in theory, but I hardly track mine so closely I could tell if I’ve ovulating right now or in the near future. And, really, all my information is related to full humans. I don’t know how a dhampir’s reproductive system might differ, especially when there’s vampires and magic involved.
I don’t know if the damn pill would work even if we use it under the best case circumstances.
“Mina.”
Gods, I love it when he says my name. It’s like I’m a tuning fork thrumming just from the sound. “I’m not being unreasonable.”
“I know.” He gives my hand a squeeze and pulls me closer so he can wrap his big arms around me. I have absolutely no business feeling safe right now just because he’s holding me. The list of things to worry about is longer than my arm and seems to be growing by the minute. A hug doesn’t solve anything.
It feels really, really good, though.
I close my eyes and relax against him. “If this doesn’t work, Rylan is going to start in about killing me again.”
“No one is killing you.”
“If not me then some innocent human Wolf snatches up. Better to be me.” It’s not that I want to die. The exact opposite is true. But I don’t know if I can live with myself if someone innocent dies in my place. Being that ruthless would make me no better than my father. It would make me a monster.
“Mina.” Malachi digs his hands into my hair and tugs until I lift my face to his. “Rylan is very, very old. He’s also not in the habit of spouting off the way Wolf likes to. If he says this can be done, he’s likely right.”
“You don’t seem to like him very much.”
“Our history is…”
“Complicated?”
His lips curve. “Complicated.”
There seems to be a lot of that going around. I sigh. “A lot has changed in a little over a week. It seems like it’s too much, too fast. I shouldn’t feel—” I barely manage to cut myself off before I say something I can’t take back. Like confess I’ve gone and done the unforgivable. I like Malachi, even when I find him infuriating. I might even be falling for him, though it’s not like I have much experience with that sort of thing.