But I Need You (This Love Hurts 2)

“Hearing that name …” His tone is dampened with sadness. “I know everything about it. More than any one person should. I know the men didn’t suffer enough. They never do, though? Do they? It’s not about them suffering.” He adds the last bit almost as if it’s a reminder for himself. “It’s about ending what they’re capable of.”

“You were there?” All the questions I want answered could fill a vault and I edge against the warmth of the comforter, closer to his now hunched figure. But all that anticipation is quickly put out like the flame of an extinguished candle.

“That’s another question.”

“Please,” I beg him out of instinct, my fingers gripping the comforter tightly with the single word. Marcus’s head rises ever so slowly and a pale, pale blue stares back at me. The case matters. I knew it did. Other questions scream in my mind. What about Cody? How much does he know? They line up one by one, held back only by biting the inside of my cheek.

He’s my witness, my ghost. But this isn’t a courtroom, a cell or an interrogation. I don’t have an ounce of power here and I’m left at his mercy.

The small voice that’s been reckless and foolish reminds me of the kiss we shared and my gaze drops to his lips. It reminds me that he came to me. There’s a small bit of power in my grasp, but just like every other fact I’ve uncovered, I don’t know why. “I just …” It takes great effort to lean back in my bed and its groan of protest doesn’t stop me from a plan that’s more than likely foolish. “How do you know Cody? You know him, don’t you?”

“He thinks I’m someone I’m not. He wants me to be that person.” Marcus’s swallow and exhale reveal the cues of a man struggling. But also a man who’s dying to confess. I can be his priest, his doctor, his executioner … whatever he wants, so long as I’m given that confession. I want it more than I’ve wanted anything else in a long damn time.

“I’m not that person, but he keeps my secrets and pretends. And together, we’ve done so well. We both lost someone at the same time in our lives. I think it’s really the bonding that binds us together more than anything. It’s the loss.”

The cryptic words don’t tell me everything, but they tell me enough to know Cody lied. He lied to me. He’s keeping Marcus’s secrets … or at least that’s what this man believes. “What about—”

“Stop,” he commands with an authority that’s frightening. One not to be denied. “Shhh.” He’s quick to add the gentleness to his voice when he shushes me, but it’s far too late to prevent fear from pressing my back firm against the headboard. “I gave you another question because I have one of my own.”

“Yes?”

“Did you like it when I kissed you?” he asks, repositioning himself in the chair, leaning forward so his forearms rest on his thighs as he stares at me through the dark.

The rush of my blood in my ears nearly drowns out every other sense.

Logically, I should tell him yes to appease his ego, his need for control. I’ve been trained on how to deal with personalities such as his. Although, this is much, much different from any scenario I’ve confronted in the past. The reality, the truth of his question … it’s still a yes. Even as scared as I am, there’s a spark that crackles between us. Knowing what he’s capable of and yet how soft he has been with me draws me to him for reasons I can’t explain.

“Yes,” I say and take a deep breath.

“Another trade?” he asks me and before I can stop myself, I answer yes. More than any other reason, it’s because I don’t want him to leave without knowing more. I need to know what happened.

“A touch for a touch?” he says and my eyes widen at the offer. “I didn’t let you last time and that seems … selfish of me.”

I can’t help the innate fear I feel. The idea of him getting closer to me, close enough to touch, to kiss, all while I stay buried in my bedsheets is both erotic and terrifying.

I know he must see it; I’d be a fool to think I could hide it. Hell, my heart beats so hard, he’d have to be deaf not to hear it staggering with dread. “I’ll sweeten the deal. I’ll tell you how I know your code. I’ll tell you now, if you want.”

My gaze peers deeper into his, and I find myself wishing for more light. His desperation is … not understood. He shouldn’t want me, but he does. I can sense it; his desire caresses every inch of me, preparing me for him.