Kyle finally looked her way, his mouth in a deep frown. “Uh, what station do you want it on? Yeah, we should turn on the radio.”
Coward. She knew she should go back to her inner monologue now, but Kyle had kind of already put himself in the middle of this. “Did you watch me have sex on my balcony last night?”
“No. I watched the area around you to make sure no one was pointing a red dot your way,” he corrected.
“Do you know what I look like when I don’t have panties on?” She wasn’t letting him get out of this one. He was her best resource—her only resource. She didn’t know any of Hutch’s other friends. If MaeBe had been here, she would have asked her, but that wasn’t how her morning had gone.
First there’d been the horrifically awkward fight with a man she might be crazy about. Then there had been the notes posted to every door in the building reminding tenants that throwing items from the balcony was a fineable offense. She’d shaken her head and wondered what asshole had done that only to walk outside to the scene of her underwear being picked out of an oak tree by one of the landscape guys.
So no. No, she wasn’t giving in for Kyle’s comfort.
“I got a glimpse, but it wasn’t a perverted thing,” Kyle insisted. “It was very professional. When I go into professional mode, I don’t see things the way I normally would.”
“It’s good to know my hootch was a mere distraction. I’m glad to know it. Why did Hutch act like I kicked his favorite puppy this morning?”
Kyle sighed. “I don’t know Hutch all that well.”
How to make a man talk? Maybe she should go back to her teenaged years. “Well, I should change the subject then. You know, I thought I felt some PMS cramps coming on, but let me tell you, there’s nothing like a good orgasm to banish them completely. My cramps can be…”
Kyle groaned. “Do you women take a class on this shit?”
Oddly, she rather thought if she wanted to talk about her period with Hutch he would listen. “I can keep it up for days. Do you know how hard it is to use a tampon when you’re in a wheelchair?”
Kyle talked and fast. “He’s jealous. He’s painfully and obviously jealous. And the fact that you didn’t get that makes me feel real damn sorry for the dude. I’m going to be honest. I gave him a lecture this morning on not breaking your heart.”
“Why would he break my heart?”
“Because you seemed like the kind of chick who couldn’t sleep with a guy just for sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but you seem like…” He stopped as though realizing he was about to say something insulting.
“Just say it, Kyle.” She’d rather know the truth.
A low grumble came out of him, like a cranky pit bull. “Fine. You seemed like you might be clingy. Turns out Hutch is the clingy one.”
She didn’t like the sound of that. Clingy reminded her of how she’d been when she’d first left the hospital. She’d clung to her father for years, clung to that stupid chair because she’d been afraid she wouldn’t be strong enough to do what she’d needed to do.
Later, when she’d reflected on that horrible year between the accident and her stepmom coming into her life, she knew what she’d really been doing by refusing physical therapy. She’d been punishing herself because her mother had died and she’d lived. She’d been in shock, and only her stepmom had been strong enough to risk everything to drag her out of it.
She didn’t want to be clingy ever again.
“I don’t think he was being clingy,” she said quietly. “I think we made a nice connection. I think the sex was good.” That was an understatement. It had been the best sex of her life, and she wasn’t sure why she’d been cool this morning. Perhaps because she’d woken up and wanted nothing more than to walk right out and coax him back into bed.
She’d wanted to cling to him. Yes, that was why she’d put a bit of distance between them. She’d dreamed of him, and it was all happening way too fast. He was already important to her, and she didn’t think that was such a good idea.
“Oh, he was clinging hard, but I think you managed to detach him.” Kyle made it through the light this time. “He was thinking you’d settled something the night before. You hadn’t. You set him straight, and now you can both move on.”
She didn’t want to move on. She barely had time to understand there was a place to move on from. “I only wanted to go to the class. I wasn’t trying to break things off with him.”