It was time for some hard truth. He knew Tag wanted to keep Kyle around until he figured out what was happening, but Hutch wasn’t going to let that secondary mission put Noelle in danger. “You’re the one who is supposed to be watching our backs. Had I gotten the heads-up that you needed a break, I would have paid more attention to security.”
Secondary mission? Now he had a third—getting the feds everything they wanted so they would leave Noelle alone. That was the deal he’d made this afternoon. He would find a way to get the financial records to prove Genedyne was a fraud and they would leave Noelle alone. Of course, he couldn’t simply tell Noelle what he was doing. He’d had to sign an agreement that all of this would be confidential.
Or his pact to keep Noelle safe would dissolve, and she could be forced to risk her career and possibly her life to keep her research safe. The feds knew exactly how to bust a man’s balls.
Kyle nodded and seemed to think something over. “That’s fair. Have you talked to Big Tag?”
He didn’t want to lie to the man, but he also wasn’t sure Kyle wouldn’t simply walk away. “I don’t want to.”
“It won’t happen again.” Kyle groaned and his head dropped back, an obviously frustrated move. “Or maybe it will. Fuck, I should never have come home.”
“Why did you?”
Kyle’s head came back up, and there was an unmistakable weariness in his gaze. “I don’t know. I guess I hoped it would make things better. I left because things didn’t make sense anymore. I came back because I hoped being home would feel safe. I was in an accident. I’d gone into grad school.”
Hutch nodded. “I remember hearing something about it.”
“It might be why I feel such an affinity for Noelle. I know I said you should be suspicious of any human being who seems as nice as Noelle, but I honestly like her. I know something of what she went through. You can’t exactly understand it.”
“I can’t? I assure you I’ve been through some shit.”
Kyle shook his head. “You’ve been through all the shit, Hutch. Like you should be a walking pile of human garbage given what you’ve been through. Tell me something. Was there ever a time you didn’t know the world was dangerous?”
His heart clenched because there was only one answer to that question. “No. I always knew.”
“Well, I remember the moment the world changed for me. I had lost my dad, but I had my mom and my brother and I got through it. It was the accident that changed things.”
Hutch remembered a bit of the story. “Your friend died, right?”
“Oh, yes, but friend isn’t the right word. He was my brother. We met in first grade and he was always there for me. Don’t get me wrong. My brother and I were close, but he’s older than me and he was always more serious. I was closest to Kenny growing up. And then because some asshole ran a light, he wasn’t there anymore. I’d dealt with death, but not in a visceral way. My dad’s death seemed almost peaceful. I know it wasn’t that way for my mom. She was careful in what she let us see. He was in an accident, too. He had surgery, but they knew he wouldn’t pull through. He lingered for a week. I remember my dad telling me everything would be okay and that he would always love me. That wasn’t how Kenny died.”
“I thought he died on impact.”
“Yeah, well, that was the story I told my mom,” Kyle admitted. “He didn’t. We’d been out to dinner with some friends. It got late, but everything was normal. Kenny had a meeting the next day, so he decided not to drink.”
“That doesn’t make it your fault.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. It was my car. I drove us out there. Neither one of us was planning on getting toasted that night, but I was talking to a woman I met and we went through a bottle and a half of wine. When the time came, Kenny took my keys and he was sitting in the driver’s seat. He took the full brunt of a car going forty-five miles an hour plowing into him. I was asleep and ended up with nothing more than a couple of scratches.” Kyle’s eyes seemed to be on something far away. “He was mad that he was dying. So fucking angry. He was mad at me.”
“He was in pain and confused.” Hutch wanted to give him some comfort.
“I don’t know about that. Anyway, that second brush with death was unlike the first. I watched it, watched the blood pour as I tried to stop it, watched the fear as he realized there was no way out, watched the light die. I couldn’t go on with my life the way I had before, so my stepdad and a friend of his convinced me to try the Navy. I didn’t go into the Army because I didn’t want to have to live up to the Taggart name. That’s sad, right? It’s not even my name, but I feel it.”