“Okay. Thank you. I just, um, I’m not sure. This is a lot to process.”
He nods. “I know it is. Take a couple of days to think about it. In the meantime, I’m still going to Kentucky to see the final applicant. It’s always good to know who is out there.”
I try to speak, but nothing comes out. Luckily for me, Dr. Montgomery laughs.
“Please give my secretary a call and let her know what you’ve decided. I fully expect you to talk this over with your wife. I make no decisions without my wife’s—Rose’s—approval,” he says. “I called her last night and told her about you and Sophie and dinner, and she had the same reaction I did: ‘These are our people.’ You are our people.”
“I . . . Dr. Montgomery, I’m honored. A bit shocked, I have to admit, but so honored to have someone of your caliber say such nice things and have so much faith in me. Truly. Thank you.”
“Holden, of course.” He picks up his bag. “If you have any questions at all, get in touch with me. I’m happy to talk things out and answer any questions you may have. But time is of the essence here. I have a trip to Africa next week, and I really hope you can join us.”
Africa? Is my passport up to date? Does Sophie even have one?
Shit.
My throat squeezes shut as reality hits me.
This job means Sophie stays here. And I go to Orlando.
I look over my shoulder.
Taking this job means leaving Sophie. It means we move on like we planned.
But what if I don’t want to move on without her? What if leaving her feels like a grand fucking mistake?
It’s not that easy, though, because the Honey House means everything to her. She was willing to marry me to save it. I would be a complete and utter asshole if I asked her to leave it.
Would she, anyway?
I look back at Dr. Montgomery. “I’ll get in touch soon. Thank you again.”
He nods and heads to his car. The gravel crunches as he backs out of the driveway and speeds off toward Tank’s.
I stand on the porch like an orphan with nowhere to go. Somehow, going back inside feels wrong. It feels like an asshole move. But going to the clinic feels wrong too. Like I don’t belong.
Rubbing my temples, I realize that no matter what I do from this point on, I’m screwed. Somehow, I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve bent over backward to acquire a job offer better than the one of my dreams, and now I feel shitty about it.
I glance over my shoulder again.
Maybe because I woke up this morning and realized that maybe, just maybe, I have other dreams too. Dreams of things like having a partner in life. Dreams I didn’t even really know existed.
Until now.
And it might be too late.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
SOPHIE
Here you go.” Jobe plunks the ladder against the wall in the foyer before coming inside my office. “Anywhere you want me to put it, specifically?”
I sit back in my chair and watch him take a seat across from me.
His red flannel shirt makes him look slightly older and wiser than he is. It reminds me of a picture I found of my dad in my mom’s Bible. He was probably Jobe’s age in it and wearing a similar shirt. He had the same smile and same build, and I wish every time I think about my father that I’d known him more.
Would my life be different with a strong male presence? I don’t know. Jobe has done his best—more than he ever had to or probably should’ve—to make sure I was protected and loved. And Gram was strong enough for both her and my grandfather, a man I never knew. But would having a father, a guiding male force in my life, have given me a better understanding of the male mind? A little insight on how to read men?
Men, meaning Holden.
I sat all day and wondered how it’s going with Holden and Timothy. It’s going amazingly well, I’m sure. And I’m happy for Holden. He deserves this. I can’t help but feel like a jerk when I daydream that he won’t get the job. It’s not fair. I know that. But still . . .
I’ve willed myself not to put too much into Holden saying that his pap offered him the clinic. He said it offhandedly, after all, and not like it was something he genuinely wants to do. Over and over, I keep reminding myself that Dr. Montgomery is here to recruit Holden for a position that he wants. That he’s dreamed of. That he’s been pining for longer than I’ve even known him as an adult.
It’s a mistake to want something you have no control over. I know this. So why can’t I pop the bubble of hope growing inside my stomach that Holden will choose to stay here?