He whistles between his teeth. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Yes.”
Not really, but what choice do I have? Should I give up everything I knew was right for me before this crazy trip to Tennessee?
“Well, okay. Do you need anything from me?” he asks.
I look around the room one final time. I close my eyes and imagine her lying in bed, waiting on me. The smell of her skin and the warmth of her proximity that fills my core with a comfort I didn’t know existed.
When I open them, a chill rips through me.
“Can you check on Sophie tomorrow?” I ask. “Just make sure she’s okay?”
Pap sighs. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I assume it’s more complicated than you’re letting on.”
“Yeah. Kind of.”
“I figured.” He sighs again—heavier this time. “I’ll check on her. Don’t worry about that.”
“Thank you.”
The line grows quiet between us as we both take in the enormity of what I’m saying.
I’m leaving. I’m leaving him and Sophie. And as much as I hate for people to need me, I’m torn. I wish Sophie needed me more and Pap needed me less. But I won’t make her look like the fool here—like she fell for a man and got dumped within days. She deserves more than that. I’ll do whatever it takes.
“I’ll call later this week. But don’t hesitate to call me if you need me, okay?” I ask.
“Absolutely. I love you, kiddo,” he says. “And I know you’re going to do great.”
“Thanks. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Holden!” Pap’s voice barrels through the line as if catching me before I hang up might save the planet.
“Yeah?” I ask.
“You are a good man. You deserve good things. And if you get out there in the world and forget that, come home and we’ll remind you.”
I can’t say anything. I can’t tell him I appreciate that more than I could ever put into words or that I love him more than I love my father.
All I can do is nod my head and wipe the single tear slipping down my face.
“Goodbye, Holden,” Pap says and ends the call.
I hoist my bag over my shoulder and make my way out of the Honey House. Pausing at the front door, I take in the dining room, where Sophie served the delicious chicken dinner, and her office, where Liv teased me with a soot-covered face.
I can hear their laughter echoing down the halls, smell sausage cooking in the kitchen, and feel the excitement of another day here.
Unfortunately for me, there will not be another day.
This is it.
This is where our journey ends.
I step onto the porch and lock the door behind me. My gaze lingers on Liv’s house before I climb into my car and head toward Nashville to catch a flight.
SOPHIE
“Why are you doing this to yourself?” Liv asks from somewhere behind me.
I keep my eyes fixed on the road, where, just a few seconds ago, Holden’s car sped away. I could barely keep myself from racing out the door and into the street and begging him to stay. If Liv hadn’t been here, I might’ve.
When Chad left, I was irritated. Sad, yes, but more frustrated by his audacity. Then I was angry that he left me in such chaos and ruin. But watching Holden go is different.
My chest is splintered, as if my heart has decided to fray into sharp shards that press into my ribs. It’s painful in a way I didn’t know existed, and I wonder if this is what they mean when they say “heartbroken.”
I’m grateful for the tears that blind me. At least I won’t have a clear visual to haunt me in my dreams. I can make up details and pretend he looked back at me or that his taillights flashed as if he had second thoughts.
Because I’m pretty sure he didn’t.
I wipe my nose with the back of my hand and ignore Liv’s disgust.
“This is the way it was designed to go,” I say. “So why does it hurt like this?”
She pulls me against her again as the dam breaks and tears flood my face once more. Her shirt is already damp from the first round of this, so I move my face to get a dry spot. There’s no satisfaction in rewetting a damp spot.
It’s softer, more cushiony. It reminds me more of Holden.
My body shakes as I cry harder.
I cry for my naivete, for thinking that I could pull this off without getting hurt. I cry, too, because I know I’ll never be that naive again. The Sophie who marched into the clinic and asked Holden for antibiotics is gone for good. In her place is this Sophie—a woman who knows what it’s like to actually love a man and lose him.
Two things I thought I’d experienced before.
Liv pulls away and takes a quick scan of my face. She then takes my hand and pulls me around the vacuum in the center of the living room floor and into her bedroom. Guiding me onto the edge of her bed, she finds a box of tissues and hands them to me. Finally, she sits beside me.