Raahosh says nothing, simply ignores me.
“You…thought if you reached hard enough, you could pull a tail out of there and we’d match?”
His tail flicks, even though he’s doing his damnedest to ignore me.
“You’re on your hunter version of your period, which means you’re hella moody. Or your midichlorian count is low and now you’ll never be a Jedi,” I add, throwing in a Star Wars joke for good measure.
He clenches his jaw and looks over his shoulder at me. “Stop. Just…leave it be.”
I move forward and grab his horn—the one that’s not twisted into a stump that lies unevenly against his head. I give it a yank. “I’m not going to stop, you big dummy, because I love you and I want to know what’s eating you. We’re going to talk about this.”
I keep tugging on his horn, tilting his head back so he’s forced to look at me, and he just closes his eyes. After a long, stubborn moment, he sighs and brushes my hand away. “I…wanted to pleasure you.” His voice is gruff, tight.
That makes my heart squeeze, and I put a hand on his shoulder. “You do pleasure me. Every time we’re in bed together.”
Raahosh shakes his head, dismissing my words. “It has to be more. I must be more. You need a good mate, a worthy one. I know I am not kind, or easy to live with. I know I am not attractive. And now I am in exile. I do not want you to feel as if your khui has chosen poorly. I must do more to please you and keep you satisfied.”
Oh.
My poor, sweet alien.
My heart aches for him. I drop to my knees behind him and wrap my arms around his chest, setting my cheek against his broad back and letting my breasts press against his skin. “How can you think that?” I ask softly, stroking my hands up and down his skin.
He says nothing for a long moment, sagging against my touch. Then, finally, he admits, “My father…”
“Say no more,” I murmur. I realize what this is about. The cootie makes sure we make a baby together, but not everyone’s thrilled at a mating. I remember Raahosh’s stories of how his mother hated his father and how miserable they both were. He probably thinks he has to be some amazing god in bed—like he’s not already?—in order to keep me satisfied. I guess that’s why he’s getting all weird on me.
He worries he’s not enough.
Just that sweetness makes me so happy. No man has ever worked so hard to make sure that I’m content in a relationship. It means so much to him that I’m his mate, that I’m at his side. For the first time, he’s envied by others because he has a human mate. He’s envied for his relationship, for his future, and even though he’s exiled, I know most of the other single men in the tribe would happily trade places with him if it meant getting a woman of their own.
But my poor Raahosh just thinks he’s going to lose me.
Maybe I should be frustrated with him, but I’m just filled with so much love for the big alien man. I stroke my hand up and down his chest, loving how he leans into my touch. His head tilts back and I carefully angle my face so he doesn’t stab me with his horn, and then lean in and kiss the side of his neck. I love his groan of response and the way his body shudders.
“I love you,” I whisper to him. “I love all of you. I love looking at you. I love your scars and your unique horns. I love your scowl. I love that stiff way you hold yourself. I even love when you thump your tail all angry and pissy.”
“Lies,” he says, the word thick on his lips. His tail thumps hard again, and I realize I’m straddling it, and it’s trapped between my thighs. I don’t move, though. I just let him realize I have him, and I continue to kiss and pet his beautiful blue-gray skin.
“Truth,” I say back. “Why would I lie? I love your scars.” I lift one hand and trace along one of the more prominent ones. “They tell a story. Not a bad one, just a story about who you are and what you’ve overcome. They make you different from the others. And I don’t know if you noticed, but I like different.” I lean in and lightly bite at his earlobe.
His breath catches when my teeth graze over his ear. I let my hands slide lower, playing along his hard abdomen and teasing at the ridges there. I’m so fascinated with petting and stroking him that I almost miss his softly murmured words. “I was not sure if I could keep a human happy. I have never had a mate of any kind…or a family. I asked others how I can please you.”