When she’s finished, I ask, “Feeling better?”
She nods with a funny little smile like she’s embarrassed, and I can breathe easier knowing she’s satisfied. I made that possible. “Yeah, much. I didn’t know how hungry I was.”
“That’s usually how it goes. Not until you start eating.” I take the tray from her and leave it on the dresser, watching her in the mirror. She’s still so tense, like she’s ready to bolt if she needs to.
I’ve never so much as had a woman in my home, much less kept one with me. I don’t know how to act, what to say. I know I can be a little intense, and she clearly doesn’t react well to that. I don’t know any other way to be, that’s the problem. Especially when there’s something I want as much as I want her.
“You must be tired.” I turn back to her, noting the circles under her eyes. It would freak her out too much if I mentioned the way she flipped the light on last night while I was watching from outside her building. Like she couldn’t sleep.
Of course, she couldn’t. She watched something that would make a normal person lose sleep. A civilian. Somebody in the other world, the so-called real world outside of the world I live in. For me, pulling the trigger is a job. It’s how I protect what’s mine.
Not so for her. The look on her face. The terror in her eyes when I turned and found her standing there, watching me commit murder.
Her mouth falls open in a huge yawn, and she giggles. As if she could get any sweeter. “Yeah, I am. Exhausted.”
“You should lie down.”
There she goes again, stiffening up. It’s enough to drive me crazy. “Come on. Relax. I told you, I don’t want to hurt you. All I want is what’s best for you, and right now, you need to sleep.”
Instead of thanking me, she frowns. “Why do you want to make sure I’m okay? What’s your endgame?”
I shouldn’t laugh at her, but I can’t help it. “Where would I even begin to explain?” She’s still frowning as I approach the bed, so I somehow find the strength to stop myself instead of pinning her to the mattress and ravishing her until she screams. It’s almost too much to fight against, but I manage it. “For starters, you deserve to have somebody to look out for you. You need somebody. Do you think you could last long, walking home in the middle of the night? You’ve been lucky up until now, but that was bound to end. That’s where I come in.”
I gesture to the bed. “Let me help you here.” She gets up, and I pull down the blankets, which she slips under before curling up on her side. Defensive, protecting herself.
“What are you doing?” She pushes herself up on one elbow when I walk around to the other side of the bed, dropping my jeans as I do, kicking off my shoes.
“What do you think?” I stop short of rolling my eyes, but just barely. “Don’t worry. You’re perfectly safe. But I’d like to get a little sleep tonight, too.”
“I don’t have to sleep here—”
“Yes. You do.” There’s no room for argument in my voice, and she must know that since she lowers herself to the mattress again. I turn out the bedside lamp, plunging us into darkness. “Go to sleep now.”
It takes a few minutes for her breathing to even out, to slow down like every passing minute in which I don’t grab her grants her a little more peace. Finally, she relaxes, and it sounds like she might have fallen asleep.
I can breathe easier, too, once she does. I don’t need to do anything but lie here with her, listening to her breathe as she dreams. This is enough. Being close to her this way, knowing she’s safe because she’s right here next to me, is enough.
The creaking of the bedsprings wakes me up. I don’t know how much time has passed, and I didn’t even mean to fall asleep, but Madison’s not the only one who didn’t get any sleep last night.
She’s trying to leave. Trying to sneak out of bed and leave. Was she planning on this? Or did she wake up, find me sleeping and decide at the last second to take a chance?
My growl cuts through the darkness and makes her gasp. “What part of you aren’t going anywhere, don’t you understand?” I pull her close before she can get up, her body flush against my chest. “You’re staying with me. You’re not leaving.”
“But—”
“No buts.” My arm is a steel band around her. She can fight all she wants, but she isn’t getting away. “You’re here with me now. That’s all there is to it, Madison.”