I hated how I always seemed to be causing Hadrian trouble. He deserved someone wiser. Or at least someone who took better care—-
"What is it, love?" Hadrian asked quietly.
"What if I didn't have Little Iron then?"
"I'm sure you'd have still figured out a way to come back to me," he said calmly.
"But that's the thing, isn't it? You can't really be sure—-"
"I am."
A helpless smile touched my lips. "How can you be so sure?"
"A gut feeling, I suppose."
My eyebrows shot up. "And that's it?"
Hadrian seemed to hesitate for a moment, and then he said rather slowly, "I was a very different man before I met you. I was cold and unemotional. Rigid. There was nothing I despised more than losing control, and so for someone who knew for a fact that God existed, I preferred to close my eyes to this."
"Because if you believed in God, then it would mean you weren't completely in control."
"Yes."
"Are you saying then...I made you believe in God?"
Hadrian's lips twitched. "Because of you, milady, I have no choice but to believe in God. No matter how many precautions I take, you never fail to find a way to get yourself in trouble, and even worse—-" My husband's tone turned wry. "It always seems to happen when I'm not around to help you."
"And so all you have left," I concluded, "is to believe that God will keep me safe." I really thought this was the case, too, but Hadrian surprised me by shaking his head.
"I don't think God ever gets involved to that extent," Hadrian said contemplatively. "I think it's more of me choosing to believe that God wouldn't ever put any of us in a situation we couldn't personally overcome, and that our success or survival is largely dependent on how much we believe in ourselves."
I started to smile, thinking that this was his way of telling me he believed I was strong and wise, but then when I mentally went over his words for a second time—-
I looked at him suspiciously. "Is that your way of saying I have too big an ego to get myself killed?"
"I prefer brimming with confidence."
I made a face. "Not funny."
"Tis just a joke, my love." Hadrian kissed my nose in apology, and I quickly wrapped my arms around him before he could pull away.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"For what?"
I pulled back so I could grin up at him. "For choosing to believe I'm brimming with confidence."
Hadrian chuckled.
"But...on a more serious note, though. If, for instance, I didn't have Little Iron with me, and I didn't manage to find Yan Wang either, is there any other way for me to get back here?"
Hadrian's expression turned pensive. "There are two other possibilities, but both would require you to find out who placed the death curse on your name."
"And if I do find out who it was?"
"You either convince them to take the curse back...or kill them to nullify the curse."
"Am I still cursed?" I blurted out.
Hadrian shook his head. "Yan Wang's mark on your hand is proof that the curse has been broken. However..." Warning glinted in my husband's gaze. "You must take care not to find yourself trapped in his world again. I highly doubt Yan Wang will aid you for the second time. He stands to be accused of playing favorites and breaking his own rules if he were to do so, and that is never a good thing for one in our positions."
"I won't touch any magical coins again, I promise."
"Coins are not the only way they can set a trap, milady."
"No falling for any kind of traps then. I swear."
"Our powers are also vastly weakened when we are not in our respective realms," Hadrian went on to say, "so take that as another reason to avoid crossing to their world."
"Got it."
Hadrian's gaze narrowed. "Are you really taking this seriously?"
"I am!"
"This is truly no trifling matter, love. I might not even have found your body earlier if not for Mary Priscilla—-"
Shit.
The mention of the little girl's name made me groan in shame.
How could I have forgotten about her?
"Is she alright?" I asked anxiously.
"She's fine," Hadrian swiftly assured me. "She showed incredible bravery when she appeared in my presence—-"
"She did what?" Just as humans instinctively feared ghosts, so did ghosts instinctively feared Hadrian, whom they only knew as the mysterious Man in Black. Even Mary Priscilla admitted to being frightened of him, and so for her to do such a thing...
"She was very worried about you," Hadrian murmured. "She even volunteered to lead me to your body."
"Aww." I was incredibly touched, but I also had a feeling if I asked Mary Priscilla about it, the brat would deny it to her last haunting breath.
"You are lucky to have such a loyal companion."
"I know, right? Isn't she the bravest thing ever?"