It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if they were still going to divorce, but my father looked a mess and it seemed cruel to even bring it up. So I bit my lip and hesitated. Should I stay with him and try to take care of him? Or did he need to be by himself?
“Have you eaten?” I asked. “Are you hungry? I could make dinner.”
My father slowly shook his head. “I’m not hungry.” Then he dug around in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He held out his wallet for me. “Here. Get something for yourself.”
I sighed and shook my head. “No, that’s alright. I’ll just cook something.”
My father nodded and just opened his fingers, dropping the wallet to the floor.
“Daddy,” I squeaked. The look of anguish and defeat on his face, my heart was breaking. He looked as if the world had literally chewed him up and spit him out. But no, the world didn’t do it, I realized. It was my mother.
“Just go, Amanda. I’ll be okay. I just need… to be alone.”
I took a step toward him. I wanted to fix this, or at least help somehow. “I can order a pizza.”
My father shook his head.
“We could watch a movie together…”
“Please, just go,” my father said, but I still wanted to help him.
“I’ll cook something. We can just hang out…”
“No, Amanda. Go,” my father growled and his face flushed red with irritation. He tipped the bottle back and took an angry swig.
“Okay,” I said softly and took a step back. “If you need anything, I’ll be upstairs.”
My father nodded and glared at me some more. Suddenly, I just had to get out of the room. I knew it was the alcohol, and I knew it was because of the stress and all the shit with my mother, but my father was usually so nice to me it hurt to be on the end of such a glare.
“Go,” he growled again, and I spun on my heel, taking off.
I ran all the up to my room, leaving my bag by the door. I still had my phone in my pocket though. I whipped it out as I threw myself across my bed. It was still too soon to text Brett, and I really didn’t want to talk about what was going on so I sent a text to Grace, asking her casually what was up with her.
I probably should have texted Brett though because the text Grace sent me back nearly gave me a heart attack.
Grace: My period is late and I’m fucking freaking out! Can I come over?
Brett
I was excited, anxious, and full of nerves at that moment. I felt like I did before a tournament. I didn’t sleep much last night, I kept thinking of Mandy all night. Her smile, her breasts, and the way she moaned. The way she laughed and the very simple smell of her skin, it was a very faint sweet smell. The moments continued running through my mind, like a wave of happiness and love swirling around inside a bottle.
I thought about masturbating to the memories of our time together but I couldn’t for some reason. It felt like those were sacred for some reason I couldn’t really think of, and that I should use other times with her, not us losing our virginity together. God, I didn’t think I could tell her about that though, she would have thought I was turning into a huge mushy pussy.
My parents returned home about a half hour after I got back from dropping off my girl, and I think they knew something was up.
Dad said I had a swagger about me and Mom said we should air the house out.
I think I might have turned a couple shades of red. Thankfully, Dad winked at me then patted me on the shoulder asking, “What do you want for dinner?”
“Up to you guys, pizza sounds good though,” I said.
“You didn’t get enough pizza this weekend?” my dad asked, laughing.
“Um,” was my very brilliant response. I was not the cooking type exactly, most of my cooking ends up in the trash bin.
“I doubt it. I bet Mandy is a really good cook,” Mom said with a laugh.
“Uh.” I knew I was bright red and caught.