She burned something deep down inside of me with the way she connected to my soul.
Last night, while lying in bed, I was tormented by the past and future. I could see so many ways that everything could go wrong. And I could see all the horrible ways they could maybe go right.
Casey, no matter what, will be in that picture though. Can Bree accept that?
I know he’s supposed to be here for the summer, but I’m thinking I need to keep him a bit longer. He needs to have a male figure in his life that can keep up with him. One who he knows will keep him in check. His grandparents were doing the best they could, but they need to heal and be able to rely on someone too.
I don’t know what the future will hold, but I want to keep Bree and Casey with me.
That’s another thing I keep forgetting.
Looking up when I hope I won’t get caught, I get to look at Bree for the briefest of moments. And looking at her fills me with the energy I need to raise and hold myself in position.
She’s fucking beautiful, and it’s like her lips call to my soul. They call for me to get up, go over there, and sweep her up into my arms. They call for me to kiss the living fuck out of her and then drag her back to my cave and…
“What the fuck are you looking at, runt?” Chase snarls into my ear as I feel his big meaty paws pushing down on my shoulders.
“My fut—”
The fucker starts to push even harder down on me.
My arms start to fucking shake from his weight, but one more look at Bree and I lock them and hold strong.
“My future… you fucking fat bitch,” I say with a very forced laugh.
“I don’t think so,” he growls so deep in my ear it fucking vibrates me.
Before I know what happens, he pushes all of his fucking weight down on me and I collapse onto the ground.
“Fucker,” I grunt.
“Did I say you could collapse?” Dale barks at me. “Casey, go to the bags. You need to give me fifty kicks with each leg and then sixty punches with each arm.”
Fuck, little dude gets off easy.
“Up!” Dale shouts at me.
Chase is still holding me down as I struggle to raise myself back up, but at least it feels like he isn’t pushing his full weight on me now.
“You want to actually try yet?” Chase asks. “You know Jamey’s not taking this fucking lightly. He’s out there right now planning on ripping your other shoulder off.”
“Fuck him!” I snarl and push all the way up.
“Down!” Dale shouts, then, “up!”
With each reputation Chase growls out what Jamey’s doing and it only infuriates me more. I’m going to fucking tear that piece of shit limb from fucking limb. I’ll fucking kill Jamey in the damn ring. I’m not going to just go for the win. I’m going to punish him every single second and every single round.
“Stand up!” Dale shouts at me.
Getting in my face, Dale stares at my panting, ragged ass. Long seconds pass between us as he searches my soul. “You want to fight now? You want to hurt him?”
“Yes,” I snarl.
“You want to use all that hatred and rage? You want to face every single fucking demon in you out there on the mat? Are you ready for that?” he asks so fucking quietly I can barely hear him over the ragged gasps of air that come from my lungs.
“Yes,” I say after I think about everything I’ll have to actually be in order to do that.
“Good,” Dale says before turning away from me.