Bucking Bear (Pounding Hearts 3)

I guess today makes it exactly a week… Fuck.

“For a few days,” I say vaguely, trying really hard not to squirm. It sounds ridiculous saying it out loud.

Carson’s head tips back as he laughs. “You know they go through girls like porn stars go through condoms?”

I do know that, I’ve heard the stories from the ring girls at the club, and I’ve heard dirtier stories straight from Mandy’s mouth.

But Max isn’t like that… Max and I are serious… it’s just saying it out loud to someone else makes it sound absurd.

Carson relaxes in his chair as if he’s no longer threatened. Thankfully, our dinner arrives and I’m saved from having to respond.

We manage to get through the entire meal civilly with me redirecting the conversation towards Hope, though I can tell it’s frustrating him when he tries to grab my hand but I dodge all of his attempts. After paying the bill, his hand returns to the small of my back as he escorts me to the car.

By the time we pull up in front of my house, I feel like I just lived through an episode of the Twilight Zone.

“I had a wonderful night,” he says, leaning towards me, and being the rude bitch that I am, I push open my door and jump out.

“See you next week!” I blurt out, slam his door and run up the front steps of my house.

He guns his engine and I wave my hand over my shoulder as I unlock my front door. Jumping inside, I slam the door behind me and lean against it, listening to him squeal out before I can relax.

Once I’m sure he’s gone, I release the breath I was holding and pull out my phone. I have several missed texts from Max but I don’t read them yet. First I send him a message.

Me: You were right.

Chapter Thirteen

Max

Fuck, I don’t like dropping her off.

I didn’t sleep for shit Friday or last night, and it’s getting worse. The longer we are together the more I need her next to me in bed. I need that presence that will bring me some sort of peace.

I know she will.

I can’t pretend in my head anymore that I am not pushing this whole thing to its final conclusion—she and Hope need to live with me.

I talked to Grace a bit Saturday and that was really good, but it wasn’t enough for me, though I did get to talk to Hope for a bit also. That was good, I like her, she has a sharp mind. She is way too funny for someone so young.

Well, maybe I’m a bit immature as well.

She certainly had a lot of fun at the zoo, she was telling me all about the animals her and Grandma were drawing together. I got her to promise me she would make one of the bear we saw for me.

This hotel bed is absolute shit. Like a pile of fucking rocks shit. I haven’t slept in such a shitty bed in all my life. In fact, I didn’t end up sleeping in the bed at all. After tossing and turning and unable to get comfortable, I ended up sleeping on the floor.

Fuck, I am a prissy little bitch for whining, but t

hat thing sucks.

So far I have abused the gym equipment here at the hotel and tried to swim laps in the pool. But when it only takes four to five strokes to cross the pool, it isn’t so much a workout as it is just making a shit ton of splashing in the pool.

Running, running fucking sucks. I hate running. I know some people who live and swear by it, but I fucking want to kill the man who invented running. I do it though, I do it and keep my opinions to myself.

I hate it but it helps release the tension I feel trying to build up.

I am normally pretty unflappable. But this whole visiting someone who is dying… Shit, I don’t know how to act. I keep trying to think of ways to go about saying hello, but I can’t think of anything that doesn’t sound stupid.

Running and thinking. Yeah, that sucks too. I do that for a long while, running the streets that surround the hotel. I don’t have much else to do. I have to wait here until one of the Give-A-Dream reps show up, then we drive to the girl’s house.