I was burning with need, but this was happening so fast.
"I can't--"
"I know," he said, his voice thick. "We won't." He paused and studied at me, those languid eyes heating to burning pools. "Yet."
Before I could say anything, he took my right nipple in his mouth and sucked hard, and I immediately bucked. He clamped one hand over my mouth to stifle me as I came, a storm of sensation, with Cairn at the center.
When the shocks subsided, he kissed my neck and then my chin, my mouth, my eyes, everywhere before pulling away.
"I have also wanted to do that since the first night I met you."
Euphoric, I burst into laughter, and he clamped his hand over my mouth again. "My parents are down the hall," he whispered, "and no matter how old you are, getting a girl off under your parents' roof is, I think, always disrespectful."
I pushed his hand from my mouth. "And yet, the good solicitor is doing it right here, and having fun while at it." I grinned. It had been so long since I'd felt this good.
"And having fun," he repeated, tracing my cheek with the back of two fingers. His gaze, as intent and interested as that first night, made me remember my nakedness. I tried to cover myself, but he caught my hands with his, linking his fingers in mine, and held them above my head.
"What is it?" I asked, uncertain.
"It's just that this is the first time I've seen you so happy."
I pursed my lips. I am happy. With you. But it's more than just happiness ...
A blade of fear, the kind that alleged miracles weren't real, lanced my chest. I started to look away, but Cairn caught my chin.
"Bea, I have waited a long time for this, too. I'll go slowly with you, and wait until you're ready." He swept his lips to my ear. "But you will be ready, and when you are, I intend to make you happy for a very long time."
I was too stunned to understand what he meant.
"WE NEED TO HAVE a party," Eleanor said at dinner a few weeks later. "On Friday. To celebrate everything that has happened since we met you, Bea."
The donation was working. My stem cells engrafted into Lizzie's bones, which were growing new, healthy marrow. I'd traded research days with hospital days and spent a lot of time conversing with her nurses and doctors. Everyone was filled with optimism for her recovery.
However, a chill had settled in me. My time in Scotland was almost over, and I'd gotten word about my next nursing assignment in the States.
I hadn't found my family, either, but I no longer cared. What was I going to do without this family? The old feelings of not belonging anywhere returned, but it was the thought of leaving Cairn that edged a cold into my bones.
"Are you going to leave, Bea?" asked Ansley. I sought Cairn's eyes across the table. Late nights at the hospital had darkened them, and he clenched his jaw. We didn't talk about the what-ifs. I was too afraid to broach the subject.
&nbs
p; "Yes," I said at my plate. "I have to go back to my job."
"So it will be like a going-away party?" Ansley sounded worried. I glanced at Cairn again, who suddenly stood and walked into the kitchen, Eleanor close behind.
"Yes, I suppose so."
The restaurant Eleanor picked for the party was located along a side street Cairn and I had walked many times at night. Oval glass chandeliers spilled champagne-colored light through long windows, and vases of ivory roses--most early-bloomers from Eleanor's garden--dotted the old tables that were interspersed with flickering candles, silver glassware, and ferns.
Before we walked through the antique doors, Cairn pulled me aside and kissed me, the ardor and generosity behind it flooring me. Already fighting back tears I didn't want him to see, I hid my face in his neck.
"I have a surprise for you tonight. Don't leave my side," he said into my ear.
He would never understand how much I didn't want to.
Eleanor had invited all the Brightwell family and friends, so I didn't recognize many faces. This didn't stop the line of people who wanted to hug me or kiss me for what I'd done for Lizzie. An overwhelming, almost unbearable, love for these people filled my body.
After a while, Max held a glass high and clinked a knife to it. "Everybody, gather 'round, please," he said.