Wicked Torture (Stark World 3)

"Right." His words hurt more than they should, but they've brought back a flood of memories. Because Noah had always been my biggest champion, encouraging me and Celia to take Pink Chameleon as far as it could go.

And then he left, and I crumbled, taking the band with me.

"Kiki?"

I exhale through pursed lips, as if I'm doing some sort of meditative breathing exercises. "You don't know?" Then I shake my head. "No, why would you? I didn't try to follow your life either, after--shit." I push back from the table and stand, furiously blinking away the tears that now sting my eyes.

He's on his feet immediately, then at my side before I can fully prepare myself. "Kiki," he says, then presses his hand tentatively on my shoulder. Even that light a touch is too much for me, though, and I shrug it off. I step away, needing to keep my back to him as I gather myself.

"Do you want me to go?"

I suck in a lungful of air, then another. Finally, I turn around to face him, my wits restored. "No. I'm fine. It just hit me all wrong."

"I didn't mean--"

"I know you didn't."

Slowly, gently, he reaches out and touches my hair, and it's all I can do not to move closer. To let him pull me into his arms and hold me. I want that--but at the same time, I don't. I really don't.

"Please," I whisper. "No."

"I never stopped loving you," he says. "I know I hurt you--and, God, I wish I could take it back--but I never stopped loving you."

"Don't." I look at him through eyes damp with tears. "I don't want to relive the past. I survived it. I got through it. But I sure as hell don't want to go back to it."

I lick my lips and lift my chin so that I can see his eyes. "And even if what you say is true, the girl you never stopped loving isn't me. Just like the guy I once loved isn't you."

I see him flinch, but I don't slow down. "It's been years, Noah. A lot of years. Things change. People change. We've changed. Last night, we had our moment of closure--"

"Moment?" he says, and despite myself, I laugh. He could always do that--lighten a heavy moment so that it was that much easier to bear.

"Fine," I correct. "We had a few amazingly blissful hours of closure, but that's all it was. Shutting the door on the past. Because the truth is, we don't really know each other anymore."

"Do you think I don't realize that? I don't want to go back, Kiki. These last years have included some of the worst moments of my life. I have no interest in reliving any of that. What I want is to go forward. What I want is a second chance."

"I already told you I'm not sleeping with my boss." I say the words more firmly than I need to, as much a reminder to myself as to him.

"Then I guess it's a good thing that I'm suggesting we start fresh as friends." He flashes a quick, mischievous grin. "And I'm not even suggesting friends with benefits. Unless, of course, that appeals to you."

I try to scowl, but I can't help laughing. "Friends?"

He spreads his hands and grins. "I came here with nothing on my mind but miniature golf. Come on," he says. "Let's go. Or we could sit here and poke over our past in minute detail. Personally, if we're going to catch up, I'd rather do it while trying to knock a small ball into a tiny cup."

I press my fingers to my lips to hold back a snort of laughter. "Couldn't have said it better myself," I manage. I glance down at my less than attractive pajamas, and for the first time, I wonder about the state of my hair. And my face, for that matter. I fell asleep in my makeup last night, so I probably look like a raccoon after a bar fight.

Then again, I guess that says something for Noah. After all, he didn't back off in shock when I first opened the door.

"I'm going to go change," I say. "Help yourself to another coffee."

I head back to my bedroom, pausing to tap on Ares' door, then poke my head in when he grunts permission. "Hey, I'm going to go out with Noah."

"Are you?" His brows rise with interest. And, I think, amusement.

"It's not like that. We're going to be working together. It's smart. Get past any lingering awkwardness before we're stuck in close quarters working through marketing plans."

"Mmm-hmm."

I roll my eyes. "Just relaying the info in case you're looking for me later."