"My wife," he said simply, silently begging Teiko to send him strength. "And my son."
"They're lovely." Her smile trembled a little, and she rubbed her eyebrow. "Look, I'm not here to--I mean, I'm not looking for anything. Honest. And maybe I shouldn't have burst in on you like I did. I should have called or written a letter. And so I get that I'm a shock. It's just that I found you and I wanted to meet you and--"
She cut herself off with a frown. "What is it?"
He realized he was staring at her fingers rubbing her brow, a familiar gesture he knew only too well.
He stood up, pushing out of his chair so hard that it rolled back and slammed into the wall. He bent over, hands pressed against the desktop as the room swam and he breathed hard, trying to steady himself.
He wanted to lash out at someone. Wanted to put his fist through the wall. Wanted do something, anything, to still the emotions that raged inside him.
Most of all, though, he wanted to not scare this girl. This lovely young woman who was an innocent in all of this.
His daughter.
Dear God, he had a daughter.
He closed his eyes and thought of Eli. Teiko, I'm sorry. I thought it was just the three of us.
"I really am sorry." Elena clasped her hands in her lap. "I honestly didn't mean to overwhelm you." He could see the nerves, but also the composure.
"You came in before," he said. "The other day, I mean."
She nodded, and a pretty smile flitted across her lips. "That was a baseline test."
"A what?"
Her chin lifted. "I was scared to come see you. I wanted to, obviously, but I was scared. So I did it in steps. Step one was getting through the door."
"Good thinking," he said, and an odd sense of pride filled him as he thought about this girl he barely knew and the fact that she was neither a fool nor a coward.
With a sigh, he sat back down. "Tell me about the man who raised you."
"The man?"
He didn't want to explain about flying out there and seeing her with her stepfather, so he said simply, "Anderson. Your last name's not Eva's, and it's not mine."
"Oh. Right. David and my mom got divorced when I was little. She doesn't talk about him much."
So Eva had gone from Tyree to some other guy. And pretty damn fast, too. Why? Because she wanted a father for her child? He was the damn father of her child. Why the hell hadn't she told him? Had Eva and this David asshole already been a couple even before Tyree and Eva had gone out? And then she'd run back into his arms?
The possibilities swirled in his head, each one pissing him off. He'd gone off to fight for his damn country, thinking that there was a woman waiting for him back home. A woman and the promise of a life together. Or at least the chance to explore that. To see if they fit together long term as well as they had for the short.
A lie.
Every memory that he'd clung to as bombs exploded around him--every memory that had soothed him to sleep, chasing away the nightmares of death and dismemberment--all of it had been a goddamn lie.
He wanted to shout. To lash out. To put his fist through the goddamn stone wall. But this poor child deserved none of that. She'd come looking for a father--for him--and no matter what else he might be, he wasn't asshole enough to take out his anger on her.
Slowly, deliberately, he forced himself to calm down.
"So what happened?" he asked. "Between your mom and this guy? David Anderson, right?"
"Right, and like I said, I was little. Only four. But from what she told me, they weren't compatible. As far as my life went, I was raised by a single mom. David didn't stay in the picture. Like, not at all."
"Not an easy life raising a kid alone." Eli had been older when Teiko had died, but still young. And it had been so hard that there'd been times when Tyree was afraid he was going to lose the kid for good to drugs or gangs or worse.
Eva and Elena at least had Eva's father to turn to. Leroy Wilson had the resources to help his single daughter and granddaughter out.