She pressed a finger to his lips. "It's not exactly a secret that you loved her. That you still love her. And I guess it only makes sense that it's going to come out the most in the bedroom."
"I'm sorry," he said again.
"Please. Do not apologize for loving your wife. Never apologize for that."
He bent over and gently kissed her forehead, his arm tight around her.
"I do have one question," she admitted. "Why did you think it would be better with me? And then why was it worse?"
"Don't you know?"
She shook her head. "That's why I'm asking."
"Same answer, both questions."
She just looked at him, silently urging him to tell her.
"It's because I love you."
Chapter Fifteen
Eva wished she had some sort of magic pill to give Tyree that would cure his guilt. She understood him loving his wife, and she certainly didn't begrudge him those feelings. But she hated knowing that he was having such a hard time moving forward, especially after so much time.
More than that, she hated the tiny insecurities that popped up inside herself. Because the truth was, she was falling back in love with him. Assuming she'd ever fallen out of love in the first place. And though he said he loved her, she feared that he really didn't. Or, more accurately, that he was holding back. That he wasn't willing to really be with her, because he feared that somehow taking a step toward her meant walking away from Teiko.
And, she supposed, it did. But wasn't that okay? Wasn't that the nature of healing?
Or was she being selfish, wishing that he'd heal faster and feel differently because that was what she wanted, not necessarily what he needed?
Honestly? She didn't know what to think.
And so she told herself that she wasn't going to think at all. She was in Austin for the time being, and she was going to do her work, spend time with her daughter, and enjoy as much time and intimacy with Tyree as he and their schedules would allow.
After that, she'd see where they stood. Maybe not the best plan, but her only other option was to put on the brakes and revert to simply co-parenting Elena.
Frankly, she'd moved way past that option.
Last night, he'd left the apartment before Elena had gotten home. They hadn't returned to the bedroom, but had instead snuggled on the couch, talking and making out as if they were teenagers. It had been sweet, and even a little refreshing, and the only downside was that she hadn't woken up in his arms.
They had, however, planned to meet for coffee, a walk around the lake, and then a leisurely breakfast. Which was why she was currently hanging out on the corner of Cesar Chavez and Congress, taking random pictures of the scenery just to pass the time.
Then her camera caught him walking up the trail holding two to-go cups and a white paper bag. She took a series of shots, him closer in each one, until finally only the coffee filled the frame. "It'll be great art," she said, when she lowered the camera to face his amused expression. "Or just something silly for me to look at when I'm alone."
"I vote the latter," he said, then passed her a coffee. "And I know we talked about getting breakfast, but it's such a gorgeous morning, I thought we might walk longer and have Kolaches." He held up the bag, and she peered in to find a selection of cheese, fruit, and sausage pastries.
Already hungry, she took out a sausage-filled one and took a bite, enjoying the sharp tang of the pastry-wrapped sausage. "This is great," she said. "Thanks."
"I also thought that if you wanted, we could spend the day together. Maybe head over to my house after our walk. Talk a bit. Fix some lunch. I have a covered patio and a great selection of wine. We could get a little drunk in the afternoon, see where it leads."
She shot him a sideways glance, wondering how far he intended it to lead. Another try after last night? Or did he want to back off the bedroom for a bit? Either way, though, it sounded tempting. And she could talk to him about her fears about his wifely guilt later. No sense ruining a perfectly lovely day with serious relationship talk.
"That sounds great. But are you sure it's a good idea? I've been usurping a lot of your time lately. What are your partners at The Fix going to think?"
"Probably that I'm ridiculously fond of you. And that I haven't given myself a vacation in a long, long time."
"Is that what I am? A vacation?"
He popped the last bite of his pastry in his mouth, then took her hand. "You're a hell of a lot more than that," he said, with such sincerity it made her heart swell. "But speaking of vacations," he continued, "are you regretting not going to Vancouver?"