Turn Me On (Man of the Month 7)

She turned, her breath leaving her as she saw him, his broad shoulders filling the space and his eyes full of so much passion she knew that her panties were already soaked. If it wouldn't be so damn dangerous, she'd just drag him into the ladies room and have her way with him right then.

Instead, she just smiled and said, "Hey. I'm sorry for cutting out on your friend. I was surprised to see you. I was afraid he'd read something on my face."

"Baby, that's not even on the radar. I just want you to meet me in our room in an hour. Will you do that for me?"

"Absolutely," she said, although she was surprised that he wanted to meet at the hotel. Usually they went to the condo. Then again, they had met in July. Maybe he wanted to celebrate their anniversary month in the same room they'd managed so well in before.

"I have news," he said. "I was going to wait to tell you, but baby, I'm too excited."

"Really?" She couldn't imagine what it could be. Maybe tickets to a show tonight? They'd been talking about going to see something this summer.

He took her hand, then leaned in close, his breath tickling her ear. "I'm moving permanently to the condo. And I'm cutting out the work travel, too. No more waiting. From now on, you can have me anytime you want me." He pulled back just enough to meet her eyes. "And baby, I always want you."

Chapter Twelve

Derek had known that his news was going to blow her mind, and he'd debated whether to drag out the news or tell it in one fell swoop. In the end, he'd decided to do both. Tell her about the move to Austin first, and then tell her the rest when he got her alone.

What he hadn't expected was such a visceral reaction from her. But here she was in their hotel room, pacing back and forth, barely saying a word.

"I guess I don't understand," she said. "You just decided to up and quit your job?"

"My job that required me to travel so much, yes. I'll still be employed." At least, he hoped so. That discussion was part of the dragging it out portion of tonight's program, and right then she didn't look primed to hear it.

"But--"

"Amanda, please. Sit down."

She scowled, but complied, settling herself on the foot on the sofa in the suite's living room. Since he wanted to see her face, he sat on the ottoman across from her. "I did a lot of thinking after Jared's suicide attempt," he began, then tried to put into words for her how much he'd empathized with Jared's feeling of his life having no meaning, no real connections.

He took her hands then. "But I'm not Jared. I have you. And I wanted more, but that wasn't possible unless I made some changes. I thought--hoped--that you wanted me in your life. And not just in a way that pops in periodically."

She swallowed, but she didn't hesitate. And when she said, "Yes, of course I do," he thought those were the sweetest words in the world.

"Jared described it as a hamster wheel, and he's right. There's only one way off, and that's to make the jump. Take a leap."

"A leap of faith," she said, her voice fragile. "At least you're luckier than a lot of people. You have your money and your family business. A safety net for if you fall."

"True," he said. And not true, though he didn't tell her that yet. No sense muddying things up before they needed to be.

He drew in a breath and continued. "But here's the thing. It's not just that I'm sick of traveling, it's that I want to see you more. And not just more often, but more. Richer. Deeper. I love what we have, don't misunderstand. But I don't want to be going in a circle on a hamster wheel with you. I want a highway. Or long, lazy country roads. I want a horizon and a future."

"You want a relationship."

"Yes. No. I think we have a relationship. I want to put the stamp of approval on it and trot it out for our friends and family to see."

She pressed her lips together. "What if I'm not ready for that?"

He leaned forward so that he could put his hands on her knees. "Baby, why wouldn't you be? What is it that's scaring you?"

She drew in a breath. "I don't know."

He slid off the ottoman so that he was on the floor looking up at her. "I think you do. I talked to Nolan, and Leo was a prick. He left without warning, he was an asshole. And that makes you scared. But I'm not Leo. You're going to have to put up a fight to get rid of me."

Her eyes met his, and for a moment, he saw their future in her soul. Then she hugged herself and shook her head.

"Dammit, Amanda, you're scared to take a risk on something just because it might fail. That puts you on the damn hamster wheel."

"Forget the fucking hamsters," she snapped. "And you know what? It's not just me. Or have you forgotten about the motor inn. Because that's some pretty risky business, but I haven't seen you going after that project in almost a year."