In Too Deep (Man of the Month 10)

"Matthew--"

He rose. "No. You deserve your firm. I've watched you. Listened to you. I see how much you love the work. You deserve that life. And," he added, "I think Ernest is right. You deserve better than me."

In two long strides he was past the couch, heading straight for the door. She bolted upright then sprinted across the room, getting there before he did. "What the hell, Matthew?" The words spewed from her, thrust out from the emotion she'd been holding in all evening. "My stepfather decides I don't get the money. You decide I don't get you? Well, screw that."

"It's for the best," he said, then reached around her and opened the door. "I really am sorry." His words were like ice, frozen and hard.

And then he stepped over the threshold, and she felt her insides explode. "Fuck you, Matthew," she cried, trying to scream but only sobbing the words instead. "Fuck you," she whispered, then did the only thing that could give her any satisfaction at all--she slammed the door in his anguished, pain-filled face.

Chapter Fourteen

She stayed up all night, but she didn't find a solution. How could she convince a man to love her? To stay with her? To support her?

She didn't know, and there was nothing tangible that she could do to make Matthew come back to her.

There was something tangible she could do about the money.

It was only five in the morning, but she showered, then pulled on her favorite pair of ripped weekend jeans and a Baylor Law School shirt that had been washed so many times that the Res Ipsa Loquiter transfer had mostly rubbed off, leaving only a few pale green splotches and the letters ps.

She slipped on her Birkenstock sandals, then headed out the door toward the office. It was Thursday, and the few people already on the street were mostly in suits or business casual. Didn't matter. As far as Hannah was concerned, it was the dead end of the week. Not to mention the dead end of her career.

It only took about five minutes to reach the corner of Sixth and Congress, and she was in the office by ten after six. Not surprisingly, Easton was already there.

"Hey," he called. "Is that you?"

"Who else?" They'd hired a receptionist and legal assistant, but since their official start time was nine, it would be a minor miracle if they had just traipsed into the office.

"I'm glad you're here. I wanted to talk to you about the meeting on Friday with the Banking Commissioner. I think I've come up with a decent argument for--"

"We need to talk."

He'd been talking loud enough to be heard in the hallway. But now she was in his doorway, and she saw his eyes go wide when he saw her outfit.

"You're still sick? You should be home, not here."

"I'm not sick." She drew a breath, stepped into his office, and sat in one of his guest chairs. "You need to find another partner. Or cancel the lease. Or take it over on your own. I--I have to pull out."

He said nothing, just laced his hands behind his head, leaned back in his chair, and waited.

"Ernest told me last night I can't have the money. Apparently men who are on calendars aren't good enough for me. The bastard."

"The money isn't an issue, Hannah. I know you're uncomfortable borrowing from me, but we can pull it out of firm income. You can take a reduced draw every month until your share is repaid. Or we can talk to banks about getting you a loan. Hell, I'd happily sue Ernest and your mom for you. There are ways."

"We've talked about this. I'm not comfortable with any of those ways. If I borrow from the firm, you're taking all the risk. We both know I won't find another lender. I can't use my credit cards because that would be foolish with the interest rates. And the life insurance beneficiary was my mom. I'd never win a court battle."

"Maybe not, but if the press got wind of it--the baby girl denied the money her hero cop father wanted for her? With Ernest's position and power? We wouldn't even have to file. Just the threat alone."

She just shook her head. Thinking about suing her family was too much at the moment. "Please. Don't fight on this just because you like me. You need a solvent partner."

"I need a partner I respect and trust."

"I need Matthew. I--I want this. I do. But it's a lot of work. And I'm not sure I want it if I don't have him to support me."

It was the first time she'd voiced the thoughts that had been buzzing around in her head, but it was true. She understood the way he looked at life. Why he was cutting back instead of franchising. She understood it, and she respected it. But she still wanted to grow, even knowing how hard it could be. But she also knew it would be lonely. And she wanted Matthew beside her, filling the void. Maybe even giving her a family. One that they could raise together. One that gave her a reason for working hard.

She didn't say any of that aloud, but from the way Easton was looking at her, she thought that maybe he understood a little of it. Even so, she said, "I don't want this without him," just to make sure they were clear.

"You know I love you, Hannah. But sometimes you're a real idiot."