And why did he keep picking up his phone to dial her number only to toss the damn thing away.
Because he missed her. Plain and simple. He could admit it. It was true, after all.
But just because he missed her didn't mean he should open his world to her. That he should risk Faith's stability and happiness.
Doubts niggled at him, pushing at him in soft moments, filling his head when he was idle. So he tried not to be idle, and he was thankful when Saturday night rolled around and he could occupy himself with getting ready for the Food Fair while Faith stayed the night at Kyla's house.
It was black tie, and as he tied his bowtie, he couldn't help but wonder what she was wearing.
For that matter, he couldn't help but wonder if she was going.
He hoped she was. If nothing else, he wanted to talk with her.
He wanted it enough, actually, that he arrived fifteen minutes early, using his connection to The Fix to get inside. He heard her voice, then immediately felt his pulse kick up, but it was only the video of her and Tyree making lasagna rolls.
He watched for a few moments, memorizing the features he already knew so well, remembering the sensation of her velvet skin against his fingers, her soft lips upon his neck. Elena.
"Hello, Brent."
His entire body tensed, and he stayed perfectly still, telling himself it was only his imagination. But he knew better, and he slowly turned around to face her.
"Hello, Elena. You look lovely." She wore a long, almost sheer beaded gown that showed off her height and her lean figure.
"You're not too bad yourself."
He tried to speak, then had to try a second time as his mouth was too dry. "Can we talk?"
"I guess that's up to you."
He nodded. "I deserved that. But listen. I want--well, the truth is I miss you."
He saw a spark in those lovely eyes.
"And I wanted you to know that I still want to be friends."
The spark dimmed. And his heart beat five times before she finally answered him.
"I can't," she said. "I'm an all or nothing kind of woman, Brent. And the truth is that I love you. And I want it all. I suppose I should have said it before, but I'm telling you now. I love you," she repeated. "I'm certain of it. Desperately, hopelessly. And I'm sorry if the news makes you uncomfortable, but that's just the way it is." She drew a breath, and when she did, he remembered to breathe as well.
She loved him.
"I'm sorry if you don't love me, too, because I can't imagine finding anyone to fill my heart the way you and Faith do."
You and Faith.
It had just come out, but she meant it. He could tell. She wanted him. But she wanted the family, too. Faith wasn't an afterthought. The boyfriend's annoying attachment. She truly wanted the entire package.
And, damn him, he was still too fucking scared to take the risk.
"Brent?"
His throat felt tight. "It really was good to see you," he said lamely.
She held his eyes, and he saw tears well in hers. "Well. I guess. I guess I should go mingle."
"Elena, wait--" But she'd faded back into the crowd. And he was left standing there feeling like he was a sixteen-year-old boy all over again.
He wandered through the fair, only half looking at the lovely serving tables, and not even tasting the exquisite food. All he wanted was to find her. To tell her that he was an idiot.