I frown, not liking to see either of them upset. “What’s wrong?”
“We left the condoms back in the dorm,” Anthony admits with a wince.
“I can’t believe you didn’t bring some.” Vin rolls his eyes. “You had one job.”
“It’s fine, there’s a corner store half a block away. I’ll just run and grab them.”
“Thanks,” I interject, still frowning a little. I was enjoying the moment—and as much as I didn’t want it to stop, now that it has, my brain has started to catch up again. All I can think about is my virginity. The guys will notice, surely, as soon as we start taking this any farther, that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. And I didn’t want to get involved with anyone this year—am I really willing to give up on that promise so fast?
Especially here, in the middle of the park, pushed up against a tree in a dark pathway that anyone could stumble down at any moment. Is this really how I want to experience my first time?
And yet, the boys feel so right. Being with them, both of them, feels natural… Safe.
Anthony jogs off toward the corner store, and I watch him go with a frown of regret. That is until Vin brushes my hair back from my forehead and kisses my neck, my jawline, the corner of my lips. He’s trying to distract me again, draw me back into the moment. It almost works. I turn to kiss him, but it’s different now. I’m too nervous—all I can think about is Anthony’s trip to the store, and what it means for the immediate future. I’m about to lose my V-card. In the woods. With two guys at once.
“Are you okay?” Vin asks softly, breaking away from the kiss to study me, his dark eyes thoughtful and serious.
“Yeah,” I answer, way too quickly. “Fine. I just mean, this is… different.”
He smiles, his hand cupping my cheek. “Being with two guys? Don’t worry, Cass. It’s the same as being with one. Better, though, I’d say.” He winks, and my cheeks flush.
“Not that I’d know, but sure,” I laugh. Then, realizing what I just said, I freeze, my eyes going wide.
Vin’s smile vanishes. He tilts his head, a confused furrow between his brows. “What did you just say?”
“I mean… Er…” My cheeks could start a forest fire right now. “Just that, I don’t know what it’s like with one guy, let alone two.”
“You’re a virgin?”
The way he asks it, it sounds like an accusation. I shut my eyes, wincing. “Yes. So?”
“You never mentioned that before.” When I open my eyes again, Vin has backed off, his expression completely different. Calm and controlled again, no longer full of lust or desire.
Shit. I fucked this up.
“Never mentioned what?” Anthony asks as he jogs back up the path toward us, just close enough to catch the tail end of our conversation.
Vin is in the process of picking up his bag and Anthony’s, slinging them both over his shoulder. “We’ve got to go, Anthony.”
Anthony glances back and forth between us, to the store bag in his hand. But when he meets Vin’s eyes, something passes between them, a kind of unspoken code. The boys know each other too well by now, and Anthony must know whatever Vin is trying to tell him. Because he pockets the bag and turns to leave as well.
“Thanks, Cass,” Anthony is saying, but Vin’s already walking away, fast, toward the dorms. I just lean back against the tree watching them go, fighting back tears of frustration and confusion.
Why the hell did I admit that to them? Of course they don’t want to sleep with a virgin. They want a girl who knows what she’s doing, who’s experienced enough to handle them. AKA, not me.
I shut my eyes and bite the inside of my cheek, forcing myself not to cry until the boys are out of sight, and I’m finally alone in the woods.
Five
It’s been almost 12 hours since the guys left me in the woods. I haven’t been able to bring myself to go back to the dorm room we share—
I spent last night sleeping in my stupid car out on the edge of campus. I have one text from Anthony around midnight asking if I’m okay and to please let them know. I replied to say I’m fine, then I turned my phone off and curled up on my back seat under the beach towel I found in my trunk.
Luckily it’s not too cold out yet, but I obviously can’t keep sleeping in the car. I need to get my shit together.
Besides, what the hell is wrong with them, leaving me alone in the forest just because it was my first time? Judgmental much?
All throughout my morning classes, I swing wildly from anger to sadness to anger again. They have no right to judge me for not having slept with anybody yet. It’s not my fault they assumed I was more experienced than I am.