Searching for Harmony (Boston Love 1)

The moment the nurse placed our baby across my chest I knew my life would never be the same. Tears flowed freely from my eyes as I looked at Trey. Smiling, he wiped his tears away as he gazed down at our son. Turning to me, he gently kissed my lips before whispering in my ear, “Everything happens for a reason.”

Each breath felt as if I was battling for air.

This is just a dream.

Jake took my hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. The preacher talked but I didn’t hear a word he said.

Birds. Focus on the birds, Harmony. This is just a dream.

My memory took me back to the day TJ was born and how happy Trey and I were. The way he looked into my eyes and told me how happy he was. I knew in that moment we had made the right decision to keep our baby.

Jake leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Harmony, do you want to lay a flower on their caskets?”

My eyes snapped open. Two boxes. That’s what they were, two boxes that held the two people I loved more than anything.

This isn’t a dream. This is very real. My baby is gone. Forever. My husband…gone…forever.

Swallowing hard, I turned to look at Jake and that’s when I saw him standing about forty yards away. He was dressed in a black suit and I couldn’t help but notice how he wiped his tears away.

Preston.

It was as if he knew I needed something to move my feet and pay my last respects to Trey and TJ. Giving me a weak smile, he turned and walked away. Looking back at the caskets, I grab

bed hold of Jake’s arm.

“I feel sick, Jake,” I whispered.

“Harmony, draw from the strength I know you have. You can fall apart later, sweetheart. Just not right now.”

Slowly nodding, I made my way over to Trey’s casket first. Placing a single red rose on his casket, I kissed my fingers and laid them over the rose. “Trey” was all I could manage to get out.

Jake wrapped his arm around my waist and led me to TJ’s casket. My breathing became labored as I stopped in front of it.

It’s so small. My baby is all alone in the dark.

“Jake, he hates the dark.”

Jake cleared his throat and held me closer. “He’s not in the dark, Harmony. He’s in a beautiful light that has him wrapped up warm and safe.”

Shaking my head, I said, “No. Jake, please tell me I’m dreaming.” Turning to him, I looked into his blue eyes.

“Harmony, sweetheart.”

Nodding and quickly wiping my tears away, I took another rose from Jake and placed it on the small casket. Leaning over, I kissed the casket and let a small sob escape from my lips.

Sounds of people crying surrounded me, drowning out the birds.

Focus on the birds, Harmony.

“Mommy loves you, baby boy. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m so sorry.”

Tears fell freely from my eyes as I kept myself from falling to the ground and screaming. As much as I wanted to, I knew it wouldn’t bring him back. I’d never hold my child in my arms again. Sing to him while he fell asleep in my arms. Laugh while he ran from me during a chase.

“Harmony,” Jake whispered as he pulled me up and turned me around. My eyes scanned all the people. I didn’t even know half of them. They were friends of Trey’s from work, or friends of his parents. Everyone looked at me with sad eyes. Trey’s mother stood up and walked up to me and pulled me into her arms.

“Harmony, darling, we are here for you…please know that.”

Dropping my arms loosely at my sides, I nodded and whispered, “Thank you, Anne. I know you are, and I’m here for you and Dan as well.”