Embry looked out the window at the pristine muscle car. “I didn’t think his taste was that good.”
“Oh it was a piece of shit before I restored it. But it was the only thing I had when I woke up, so I’m kinda sentimental about it. Anyway, I got in touch with the authorities, who were happy to slap a big ‘Solved’ on my missing person’s case. The social worker assigned to me kept assuring me that my memory would come back. Came up with all kinds of theories as to why it didn’t. Nothing was near the truth.”
It wouldn’t be.
He hadn’t mentioned it, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “What about your burns?”
“Funny thing about that actually. Matthias must’ve done something to make them heal faster. When I woke up in the motel, I had seriously charred hands. By the time I made it to the hospital, they were down to blisters.”
“I’m so sorry, Gage.”
“I don’t want your apology, Embry. It isn’t your fault. You’re not the one who did this to me. No matter what else happens, you’re the one who dragged me out of the Purgatory of not knowing. No matter what I may have to leave behind of my life in New Orleans, it’s worth knowing. Who I am. Where I come from. You don’t know how important that is until you don’t have it. So thank you for that.”
But it was my fault. The certainty of it settled in her belly, transmuting what little breakfast she’d managed into lead. He certainly wouldn’t be thanking her for anything if he knew. But that was on the list of things she would continue to lie about. She wouldn’t risk her father’s life by telling him the truth.
* * *
“You are a Shadow Walker, Gage. Whatever it is that makes some people able to tame the shadows, it’s in you, just like it’s in Dad. Traveling through shadow used to be second nature to you. If you knew the layout or had a person in mind as an anchor, you could travel virtually anywhere. You could see in the dark, you could move without sound. Dad trained you so that you could—”
“I know all that! I have all my memories, all the fucking facts. I remember doing it. I just can’t… I guess I just can’t remember how I did it. Or something.” He tunneled his fingers through his hair. We should have gotten separate rooms.
Embry’s eyes bored into him from where she lay sprawled on one of the beds. He could feel her gaze on him, like twin points of heat on his chest. Her scrutiny—and her lecture—was really fucking with his concentration.
Not that he’d been able to do much on that front since she’d walked into the locker room and back into his life. He was too busy trying not to keel over from the constantly unfurling memories bombarding his brain. Not to mention the effort it was taking to remind himself that what had happened—or not happened—between him and Embry had been over a decade before. Everything about that fabricated date had just been about getting him in place to take the antidote.
She didn’t even look for me. Not until I was of use to her. The thought rattled around his head, banishing whatever vestiges of focus he’d managed to drum up.
Had he misinterpreted everything that had gone on that last night? Had it been some kind of game to her? Or maybe the disastrous confrontation with the other Shadow Walkers had scared her away from any kind of involvement. If the consequences for him had been a total eradication of his memory, the consequences for her for coming after him would probably have been pretty steep. Hell, it wasn’t as if the Council had likely changed much in the last ten years. The consequences would still be brutal if they were caught.
So, better figure this shit out and not get caught.
“Have you fallen asleep standing up?”
Gage didn’t bother opening his eyes. “I can’t do this with you watching me.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, it’s not like you’re taking a piss. Just dematerialize already.” Impatience simmered in Embry’s voice.
He swallowed the irritation, reminding himself that she was anxious about her father and not thinking clearly. Still, it was a stretch to keep his tone even. “I get that, but having you staring at me is just adding more pressure to an already stressful thing. I haven’t done this in ten years.”
“Well what do you want me to do? Go hide in the bathroom or something?”
“Why don’t you run to the vending machine, get a couple of drinks to go with the Chinese when it gets here.”
“And leave you by yourself. What happens if you manage to Walk, and then can’t get back because you have no anchor?”
When he opened his eyes, her arms were crossed and her face was etched with an I’m making a reasonable argument, aren’t you going to listen to me expression.
“I seriously doubt I’m going to manage that in the five minutes it will take you to go to the Coke machine, but it might let me clear my head and get centered.”
She swung her legs off the bed with an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. But if you disappear and can’t find your way back here, I’m going to be beyond pissed.” She shoved one of the keycards into her pocket and snagged her purse.
Gage waited until the door swung shut before releasing a long, shuddering breath. He wouldn’t have long, and he needed to focus.
He turned off the bedside lamp, throwing half the room into shadow. Stepping into the deepest part of it, he shut his eyes again and focused on his breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In. Out.
Like riding a bike, he told himself.
An unfamiliar buzzing started in his head and spread throughout his torso. Was this what dematerializing felt like? He couldn’t remember. Maybe he was just hyperventilating.