More Than Words

Rafael shifted closer to her. She felt the mattress dip as he moved. “Is that what you meant before when you said this is a big deal? Are you worried we’ll disappoint each other?”

That was almost what she was worried about. “Maybe,” she said, moving toward him.

Rafael bent forward and kissed the top of her head. Nina closed her eyes.

He kissed each eyelid.

“I’m actually worried that I’ll disappoint you,” she whispered. “Or I’ll do something or want something that you . . . that you’ll think . . .”

He kissed her lips. “Never,” he answered.

He kissed her again, harder, and this time let his kiss slide down to her neck. Then his hand was in her hair as he ran his tongue along the length of her collarbone, his fingers trailing along the bottom of her jaw. She turned her head and caught one of them between her lips and he closed his eyes. “You are so damn sexy,” he said, opening them again, looking up at her.

Rafael slid his finger out of Nina’s mouth and she half smiled. “It’s nice to feel this kind of desire,” she told him.

“It is nice,” he said. “It’s been a long time since anyone wanted me like this.”

“That’s not true,” Nina said. “I wanted you. I just kept it quiet.”

“I’ve wanted you, too,” Rafael said as Nina moved her hand down his body. She could feel him getting harder against her fingers. She kissed him.

Rafael kissed her back just as insistently and reached under the covers, slipping his fingers inside her. She moaned, then licked her fingers before putting them back on his erection.

The two of them rocked against each other’s hands, the pleasure of it making them shiver. But Nina wanted more than hands.

“Can we?” she asked, rolling to her side, guiding him toward her under the covers.

Rafael nodded in response and Nina wrapped one leg around his hip while sliding onto him. “Oh,” they both breathed in unison.

It felt like they were made for each other. The shape of his body, the angle of his hips, the length of his torso—the way they each knew intuitively what the other person wanted, needed.

When she came, Nina’s body shook with a feeling so intense she didn’t know if she could call anything she’d experienced before an orgasm. Or maybe she needed to create a new word for this sensation—this feeling of pleasure so all-consuming that there wasn’t room for anything else.

After Rafael came a few moments later, he and Nina lay against each other on the bed.

“Remember that thing you were worried about?” he said, as he caught his breath.

“Mm-hm,” Nina answered.

“Truly no need to worry about that ever again,” he said. “There is no way you could ever be disappointing.”

And in spite of everything else that had happened—and whatever else was yet to come—Nina Gregory fell asleep with a smile on her face.

69

The next morning, despite how late they went to bed, Nina and Rafael woke up early.

She looked over at him in the bed next to her, his hair rumpled, his mouth curved into a grin. She had the overwhelming urge to kiss him, so she did.

“Well, that’s a nice start to the day,” he said, his voice gravelly from sleep.

She’d been worried it would feel strange to wake up next to someone who wasn’t Tim, but it didn’t. It felt natural. Like this was where she was supposed to be.

“I can drive you back,” Rafael said, his hands reaching out to caress her breasts.

Nina shook her head. “I’ll take the train,” she said, luxuriating in his fingers on her skin. “We’re being extra careful. Jane and Mac would have me drawn and quartered if someone spotted us together.”

Rafael slipped his hand to Nina’s waist under the covers. “I’d never let them,” he said. He pulled Nina closer and curved his body around hers. “I’m so glad you interviewed to be on my campaign staff, and even gladder you quit.”

“Same,” Nina told him, then she squinted at the clock. “I think we have some time before we need to head back to the city. We could go for a run, or—”

Rafael silenced her with a kiss. “Or we could do this,” he said.

Nina couldn’t help it, she blushed.

And Rafael kissed her cheeks where they’d turned pink.

70

As they were getting dressed, Rafael said, “At least we won’t have to stay hidden for too long. The election’s over in three and a half weeks.” He knotted his tie. “And then you’ll be dating either the mayor of New York City or a lawyer whose dream crashed and burned.” He looked at her. “Will you still want me if I lose?”

“No question,” she said, but as she pulled a navy camisole over her head, she wasn’t thinking about what would happen if he lost. She was thinking about what would happen if he won. Dating the mayor of New York City would mean living in an even brighter spotlight. Unconsciously, her body stiffened.

“What is it?” Rafael said.

“Nothing,” Nina told him, she wasn’t going to think about that. Not now. “We should finish getting dressed and head back to the city. I’ve got a new job now. I’ve gotta get up to speed.”

“Buena suerte,” he said, wishing her luck as she bent to slide her feet into her heels.

“Gracias,” she answered.

And when she stood up, he kissed her again.

* * *

• • •

Half an hour later, Rafael dropped Nina off at the train in Cold Spring, and she waved good-bye from the platform. “I already miss you!” she called through his open window as he drove away.

Even in the chilly air, her body was still vibrating with the heat of him, and her muscles were sore from what they’d done together. He’d made finding out about her dad’s embezzlement tolerable. He’d taken her out of that world, away from everything, and made her feel loved and understood and appreciated.

Her phone pinged. Nina looked down expecting Rafael. It was Tim.

I was thinking, the text said. This is all a huge mistake. I missed you last night. I miss thinking about the future we were going to have together. I know I said not to contact me, but can we talk again? I can accept the new Nina—or at least most of it.

Nina stared at the screen. She didn’t miss him, not in the way he missed her. She’d slept with another man and felt better than she had in longer than she could remember. There was no way she could respond that wouldn’t hurt him, so she told him the truth.

I’m sorry you missed me, she wrote back, just as the train pulled up to the platform. But I’ve been thinking, too, and I think this was the right choice. Then she added: Will you let me know when you’ve told your parents?

Tim didn’t respond.

She understood. She deserved his silence. She deserved worse. He’d thought she was his forever, and she’d let him believe that. She’d become a person he didn’t recognize. She just hoped he’d remember the good things about her, too. That ten months of dating wouldn’t kill thirty-three years of friendship forever.

71

Back in the Gregory Corporation offices, without Rafael there to distract her, Nina felt the weight of her father’s actions again. But it was an odd sensation, because there was nothing she could do to fix it. Nothing she could come up with, at least. She’d contemplated paying the company back, but to do that, she’d have to admit to what her father and TJ did and that would hurt the corporation even more than her father had. So instead she decided to tackle a problem she could do something about: She’d look for candidates to interview for the CEO position. As she started sorting through her father’s ancient Rolodex, Melissa buzzed. “Caroline Calder wants to see you,” she said. “Are you available?”

“I am,” Nina answered, wondering if Tim had told his mother about them yet, if that was what Caro wanted to talk about.

When Caro opened the office door, her face gave nothing away. “Want to take a walk?” she asked. “I spoke to my husband this morning.”

Nina could see Caro’s fists clenched. She was upset, even if she wasn’t showing it.

“Sure,” Nina said, standing up. “Let’s go.”

The two women walked out of the office and took the elevator down to the ground floor.

“Central Park?” Nina asked, orienting her body north.

“As good a place to talk as any,” Caro answered.

They walked quickly, Nina waiting for Caro to speak. When they were two blocks from the office building, Caro finally said, “So it seems like your father and my husband made some unfortunate choices.” That was what this was about. Not Tim.

“That’s one way to put it,” Nina said, wondering what TJ had told her, whether he’d given her the whole story.

Caro turned, and Nina could see tears shimmering in her eyes. “God, they’re such idiots. It’s not just the illegality and the secrecy and the impropriety of it all. It’s the fact that their goddamn egos were more important than morals. More important than anything, really.”

So he’d told her everything.

Caro had put words to what Nina hadn’t quite figured out how to say. “Yes,” she said. “I know. And how do we get out of this mess? What do we do to fix it? Can we?”