Beautiful Secret (Beautiful Bastard 4)

Nearly three days later we stepped onto the curb at Heathrow, bags rolling to a stop behind us. The sky was a dingy gray, the air cool and smelling of damp stone and exhaust, but it felt like home. Niall had held my hand throughout most of the flight, growing more confident in how he allowed himself to touch me, and even now stood close enough that the side of his body was in constant contact with mine.

He’d suggested we head to his flat, but we were both exhausted, and, realistically, we wouldn’t get any sleep if we were together. We’d each been gone for weeks, would have people to catch up with, a stack of mail to sort through, and, after nine hours of traveling, there was nothing I wanted more than a shower and my own bed. Especially given that Tony had requested I come into the office the next day to debrief him and because, he “hasn’t seen my lovely face in a month.”

Niall and I definitely should have talked more, at least discussed some kind of game plan for work, but instead we leaned heavily into one another, both of us trying to enjoy just a few more minutes. He kept my hand tucked between both of his as the view outside the windows shifted from the M4 to surface streets, and by the time the taxi stopped in front of my building, it was all I could do to kiss him goodbye—albeit a bit enthusiastically, considering we were in the back of a cab—and stumble with my bags through my front door.

Rain pounded on the street outside my apartment that night, tracking over the windows like leaded glass. It felt right somehow that it would rain our first night back in London, a welcome return to normalcy of sorts.

I was in bed, fresh from the shower and wrapped in my favorite pajamas, when my phone buzzed from the bedside table.

Miss seeing your face on the pillow next to me, it said, and something sparked, hot in my chest. He was doing it—he was trying—just like he’d said.

Miss hearing those cute little sounds you make while you sleep, I typed back, already smiling at what I knew his response would be.

I am far too masculine to ever be considered ‘cute,’ Ms. Miller. I laughed out loud at that, and my heart took off.

I may need to see you fully undressed again soon, just to be sure.

There was nothing for a full minute, and then the little bubble appeared, indicating he was typing a message. I can’t wait to see you, this bed is far too big for one person.

My fingers shook on the keyboard as I entered a reply, my cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling. He really was doing this. We were doing this.

I can’t wait to see you, too.

Tomorrow then. Sleep well, darling.

If a heart could burst from happiness, mine was well on its way.

I finally fell asleep to the sound of the rain, with a smile on my face and my phone tucked under my pillow. The voice in my head was silent.

FOURTEEN

Niall

It’s fascinating how quickly the human mind incorporates new habits. Even though we were back in London, even though she’d never shared this bed with me, waking up without Ruby was odd.

I pulled my phone from my laptop bag and texted her. Did you sleep?

Her reply: Barely. I may need someone to stand behind me and move my arms and mouth for me at work.

I’ll see you at the office, my beautiful puppet. I finished breakfast, read the paper, dressed, and left. It could be any other day . . . except it wasn’t. My life felt about seven thousand times bigger.

Ruby was in her small shared space when I arrived. I usually got in before eight but doubted I had ever once beat her to the office. This morning, I’d tried, though. I wanted even just one moment alone with her, unguarded before reality descended. Unfortunately it was not to be. The offices already buzzed with Monday morning activity, and I could only manage a small smile, a wink, and a glimpse at her wet, pink lips.

“Hey,” she mouthed to me.

I stared at her for a beat longer, wanting nothing more than to walk in and give her a simple kiss on the mouth, but instead I nodded, walking to my office down the hall.

Anthony’s familiar sharp, two-knock combination rapped at my office door and, as usual, he stepped in without waiting for an answer.

“All right?” he asked in greeting, walking over to take a seat across my desk from me.

I leaned back in my chair, giving him what I hoped was a relaxed smile. “Good.”

He crossed an ankle over his knee and grinned at me. “I trust you had a nice trip?”

Never before had I felt so much as though I were playing a game of chess. “I did.”

Anthony watched me with scrutinizing eyes, fingers steepled beneath his chin. I blinked over to my computer monitor under the guise of checking my email. I hadn’t decided what I would tell my questionable colleague. On the one hand, I didn’t want to hide what was happening between me and Ruby, and if I knew her at all—which I sincerely felt I did—I knew she wouldn’t do a very good job playing aloof. On the other hand, I wanted what was private to remain private, and Tony had a way of making everything his new favorite joke.