Lexi looks relieved. She idly rubs up and down my chest again, and my cock’s gettin’ uncomfortably hard just at that small touch. I don’t say shit, though. I like her hands on me far too much. My cock can play again in a week or two, when Lexi’s been okayed by the doctor. Until then, it’s gonna have to just ache a bit. “I can make a decision in a few months,” she tells me. “Can we get a place with a studio of some kind?”
“Whatever you want, love.” I mean it, too. If she wants to live in one of them tiny house things and move from town to town, I’d be just fuckin’ fine with that, too. Long as we’re together. I rub her thigh idly. “I’ll go home tonight after we get you all settled and—”
“Wait, why?” Her arms go around my neck.
“Well, because this is your house and you ain’t ready for a home yet.”
“Correction. This is Natalie’s house. I’m just guesting here. And just because I’m not ready for setting down roots at a permanent house doesn’t mean that I want you to leave.” She slides closer to me, practically rocking against my hips. “I want you to stay.”
I nod slowly. Truth be told, I’m relieved. I want to stay, too. I don’t want to leave her side ever again. “All right. And marriage? Since we’re gettin’ all the tricky stuff out in the air tonight?”
Lexi blows a breath out, thinking. “I know it’s something you want. A lot.”
“Yeah,” I say, and there’s a thick knot in my throat. “Can’t deny that it’s what I want more than anythin’.” Well, almost. I want her and my baby in my life more than anythin’, and if I have to compromise for that, I’ll hate it, but I’ll do it.
“I . . .” She hesitates. “I kind of like the idea of you being all mine, but marriage also scares the piss out of me. Does that make sense?”
I relax a little, because that’s not the “no” I thought it would be. “Scares me a little, too, but in a good way. I’d love to have you be all mine, sweetheart. I’d love for our kid to have two married parents that love each other.”
“And if it doesn’t work out?” she asks, worried. “Remember I don’t have a great track record.”
“You got married real, real young,” I point out. “When you felt like you had no other options. So I ain’t exactly holdin’ that against you. You made the choice you had to at the time. It’ll be different between you and me. We’ll go into it knowin’ exactly what we’re gettin’ into and we’ll talk about everything every step of the way.”
“Talk about everything like . . .” She gives me a wry look. “Like how Texas is a fifty–fifty state and if we divorced, I’d get half of your billions? That kind of talk?”
“Didn’t cross my mind, but we can talk about it.”
She gives me a frustrated look. “How can that not cross your damn mind? You could lose billions if we divorced.”
“But I’d still have billions. How much does one guy need?”
Her brows go up again. “I can’t decide if that’s wise or ridiculous.”
“Both?” I shrug. “So you want me to have the lawyers draw somethin’ up that says you don’t get shit if we don’t work out?”
She shifts on my lap. “I said it was ridiculous. I didn’t say I was crazy.” Her teasing look disappears as quickly as it crosses her face. “I do worry about that, though. That’s a big consideration, Knox. Money.”
“Well, the way I look at it, if you and me don’t work out, it’d be for one reason only.”
“What’s that?”
I touch her jaw lightly, because she’s so fuckin’ beautiful I can’t not touch her. “That you were so miserable you couldn’t be with me anymore. I’d never be the one to leave you, so it’d have to be you leavin’ me, Lexi. And if you hated bein’ with me, I wouldn’t want you to stay. I’d want you to be happy. So I’d give half my money to the woman I love and the mother of my child any time she asked, even if it was so she could leave me.”
Her mouth parts slightly and her eyes get suspiciously shiny again. “Damn it, Knox. Quit being such a sweetheart. Be a dickhead. I know how to deal with those. I have no idea how to handle someone like you.”
“You have as much time as you want to find out, sweetheart.” I rub my hand up and down her butt, caressin’ her. “Let me give you everythin’, Lexi.”
“And what do you want from me in return?”
“I want you to be happy. That’s all I want.”
She shakes her head, as if not sure what to make of me, then leans in and tucks her head against my neck, her breasts pressin’ against my front, and her arms go around me. She’s draped herself completely over me, and I love it. Love the feel of her body on mine, my hands on her as I hold her close, our hearts beatin’ together.
“I was really freaking out tonight,” Lexi admits in a soft voice. “I was alone, and I was scared, and all I kept thinking about was how much of a mistake it was to blow up at you, because I didn’t want to leave you. That you were the only person I ever wanted at my side, and normally when things get tough, I’d rather retreat and handle them on my own. I didn’t want that tonight, though. All I could think about was how much I felt hollow without you, and how if you were there, you’d make everything better. I hated that I gave up on you.”
“I didn’t,” I tell her easily.
“Didn’t what?” She taps my shoulder with one finger.
“Give up on you. You may have given up on me, but I didn’t give up on you, sweetheart. I refuse to.”
“That could be taken as a stalkery way,” she muses.
“Or a devoted way,” I correct, squeezin’ her delicious ass again. “You’re my life, Lexi. You and our baby. I ain’t never gonna give up on you, even if you dress the kid in black and call him Scissorhands. You can be as weird as you want, as prickly as you want, and I’ll be right there at your side lovin’ you every step of the way.”
She sighs. “You make it sound so easy.”
“That’s because it is easy,” I murmur. I can’t resist touchin’ her. That wonderful, bouncy ass of hers is makin’ me want to do naughty things. I slide my hand under the band of her pajama pants and touch bare skin.
Lexi grabs my hand. “Wait, Knox. We can’t. Doctor said no sex.”
“I wasn’t gonna suggest sex. Nothin’ says I can’t make you come, though.”
She sits up, frowning at me. “Are you kidding? I have never felt less sexy, Knox.”
“Which is ironic, because you’ve never been more sexy to me.” I move my hands away from her pants and cup her face instead, pulling her forward and into a kiss. It’s a gentle one, full of promise and heat and lots and lots of tongue. When I pull away from her, she’s breathing hard, her eyes unfocused and her mouth shiny and pink, her skin reddened from my beard. “You want me to show you just how sexy I find you?”
“Should we?” she whispers, looking into my eyes. Waitin’ for me to make the call.
“Just trust me, love.”
And my beautiful, perfect Lexi hesitates for a moment, and then presses her mouth to mine. She gives me a feverish kiss, and then tells me, “I will. I’m going to trust you with everything, Knox.”
She might not give me everythin’ like she’s sayin’, but tonight’s a damn good start. I lower my mouth to hers again and slide my hand into her pants once more. Eventually she’ll realize that—like tonight—it’s always all about her. Nothin’ matters to me but her.
And I intend on showin’ her that every damn day.
Chapter 22
Lexi
“You know, they say pigeon pose opens your hips up, I just never thought it would open them quite that much.” I tell Knox as he holds our newborn son close. “I wonder if we should use the video of that in class, water-breaking and all. It might be an incentive for women that are overdue to push their babies along.”
“I think he has your nose,” Knox tells me, and it’s clear he’s not listening to a word I’m saying. He hasn’t since the nurses put the baby in his arms. That’s all right. He’s allowed to be enraptured by our small son. I am, too. Tired, but fascinated and feeling more love than I thought one heart could hold for one small baby and his father. My husband of two months gazes down at our child with the most tender, adoring look on his face. “People say newborn babies are ugly, but I don’t see it. He’s the handsomest little fella.”
“He’s got a handsome daddy,” I say back, and then because I’m getting too mushy, I add, “You’re practically the same age.”
Knox just snorts with amusement and holds one tiny fist. “So what name do you want, sweetheart? Did you decide?”
I groan and lean back on the hospital bed pillows. The name has been a thing of contention between us for the last few months, ever since we knew for sure that it was a boy. We wanted something with an X in it because both of our names have an X, but deciding on that name has been tricky. It’s been one of the more difficult decisions lately, and we’ve had several big decisions in the last few months, like getting married and buying a house. Those were easy compared to figuring out what to call our perfect baby. “I’m sure something will come to us.”
I’m not worried about it. Things always seem to work out wonderfully when I’m with Knox. It’s like the world slides into place when he’s around. I keep expecting things to get hard or awful, but they never do. He’s been at my side every step of the way with the pregnancy, from natural childbirth classes to doctor’s appointments to midnight runs for artisan ice cream and spicy pickles. After a few months of being together, I realized that I no longer wanted to spend my nights apart from him, and that we were spending either every night at his trailer or together at my tiny cottage. After that, it just made sense to get a house together.