They remembered us and knew we were the reason their men were in prison. We’d cuffed them to chairs and had shown them some of the pictures I was showing Deon and Luke now, in order to get them to stop screaming that they would tell the boys that we’d threatened them. When asked where they were keeping Rachel, both immediately shut up.
The picture Deon and Luke were looking at was of two of my guns pointed at their heads as they cried and kept rambling about “the house,” how “she’s at the house.” Neither of the girls had been hurt that night, we’d gone there to scare them, and that’s exactly what we’d done. But when Mason and I broke into the house where we’d lived with Juarez and his crew two days later . . . we’d come up empty. By that time, we’d already anonymously called child protective services and given copies of some of the pictures as evidence, and the women had already been arrested.
And because of our last visit to them, visiting them in jail wasn’t exactly an option right now.
I focused back on Luke and Deon. Both had their eyes narrowed into slits and glued to me, both were breathing so hard their nostrils were flaring, and both had gone back to not speaking.
“So you see”—I said darkly and leaned close—“you played this game with me, took what’s mine, and tried to ruin my life. I can’t be positive, but I’m pretty sure I just won. And now I’ve started my own game . . . now I’ve taken what’s yours. Only difference between your game and mine is, you’ll never get yours back.”
Luke growled, and I smiled.
I began gathering all the pictures together and put them in the file. Just as I started to stand from the bench, I waved the last picture in the air, facing away from them. “Oh, I must have missed this one. Did you want to see the picture where their new suppliers are fucking them while someone else shoots meth in their arms for them? No? No, didn’t think so. Have a good life in prison, gentlemen.”
Deceiving people was natural . . . it had been my job for so long that lying to protect myself, or those I loved, was as easy as breathing. I’d promised Rachel that there would be no more lies, forgiving or not. When it came to her, there hadn’t been, and there wouldn’t be when she came back. But all bets were off until I found her. I would deceive anyone, lie about everything, and do anything to get her back.
The wicked grin I’d been forcing myself to wear to continue taunting them fell as soon as I turned and began walking from the room. I thanked the guards gruffly as they let me out of the secured doors.
As soon as I was in my truck, I called Mason and told him I was on my way to his apartment.
Once I was there, I went over the meeting with him before we destroyed all the pictures I’d taken and received from Sunny. Just as we were planning out what he was going to say when he went in to meet with Deon and Luke tomorrow, my phone rang. Glancing down at it, I stared at the name for long seconds before I finally hit the
green CALL button and brought the phone to my ear.
“Hey.”
Sniffling met me on the other end for a bit before her shaky voice choked out, “She’s going to be okay, right? You are going to find her, aren’t you, Kash?”
My eyes hit Mason’s, and I put the call on speakerphone before responding. “Yeah, Candice, we’re gonna find her. We’re looking for her right now, I swear to you we’re doing everything we can.”
“I’ve, uh, I’ve been thinking. Maybe I should still come to Florida, help you look for her. Eli, Mom, and Dad want to come too.”
“No.” Mason and I both responded at the same time.
“Candi, babe, that’s not the best idea.”
“Mase? But, but maybe we could help, you know?”
“Candice we’re doing everything we can to find her, we have a lot of really good people looking for her,” he said. “And being here might end up just being too hard for you guys because you’ll be faced with it every day. It’s constantly on the news, in the newspaper . . . it’s everywhere here.”
“But it can’t hurt to have more people looking,” she argued.
“Candice,” I said softly, “we’re not searching for her body. If we were, we would need more people. Right now, they’re hiding with her, so we’re looking for them. It’s different, and I agree with Mason, it would probably be harder for you all to be here.”
Her quiet sniffling turned into sobs and she cried out, “I just feel like I can’t do anything, and I’ve never been there for her when she needed me!”
Candice called me every day and we had this exact same conversation. I got calls from her parents just as often. Eli was the only one who called solely to get the details of everything that was happening before he hung up on me. To be honest, I think he blamed me for all of this too. At least I wasn’t the only one.
I looked up at Mason helplessly as Candice continued crying, and he grabbed the phone from my hand, took it off speakerphone, and walked away, talking quietly to her.
As much as I hated to say it, I couldn’t handle talking to them right now. I knew they were devastated, I knew they felt lost and helpless, but I was trying not to feel anything at all . . . and I had to stay focused on finding her. If I went back to making sure that they were all constantly taken care of throughout this, then I would go back to feeling like I couldn’t make it another day . . . another hour . . . another minute without her. The second I let myself feel all of the pain I knew was waiting just below this robotic mask I was wearing, I’d crumble, and I couldn’t afford to crumble right now.
I already had to see my parents, and they were doing worse than Candice and her family was. Because not only were they mourning Rachel’s loss every day, but they also had to see what I was turning into as a result of all this.
I waited on the couch until Mason came back into the room and handed me the phone.
“What’d she say?”
“They’re not going to come right now, and I made her put her dad on the phone. I advised him that even if—when . . . I’m sorry—when we find her, it wouldn’t be a good idea for them to come immediately, or possibly anytime soon. I told him that although they’d want to see her, she might not be ready to see anyone, and we’d have to be careful with her. I think he understood. I’m not sure if Candice and her mom will though.”