“Rachel”—he pinned my shaking hands to the bed—“you’re just feeling anxious because the power has been off. You know we can’t get out of here.”
“No, I don’t know that!”
“Look, I want to get you away from here, you have to at least know that. And you heard Jaime the other night, because of what I’m doing for you, I’m out, do you understand what that means?”
“No—”
“It means, when Romero gets word of this, or gets out, I’m dead. Trust me when I say I want to get out of here just as much as you do. But you’re out of your goddamned mind if you think they don’t have men stationed at the exits!”
I flinched away from his harsh tone, and immediately one of his large hands cupped around the back of my neck, forcing me to look at him again.
“Shit, I’m sorry. We just can’t get out of here, okay?” When my eyes kept going down to my lap, he spoke gently. “Don’t be scared of me. I’m sorry for snapping at you. You have to understand that I would do anything to get you away from here, and it’s killing me that I can’t.”
I nodded and waited until my heart was going at a normal pace before asking more questions. “Who is Romero? Where is he getting out of? Is he in jail or something?”
“Rachel,” Trent said in a clear warning, but I didn’t stop.
“Why is he the one that decides if you’re ‘out’? Oh my God, are you in a gang, Trent? Are all of you in a gang?”
“Please stop asking questions,” he begged and stood quickly from the bed. Dragging his hands agitatedly through his hair, he blew out a heavy breath and began pacing.
“You are!” Oh my God, thank God. “He’s going to find me. He knows all the gangs in this area better than anyone. I know he’s going to find me.” I started chanting to myself, and for the first time in days, I had hope that Kash would come rescue me.
“Who is going to— Oh. No, Rachel, he . . . he’s not.”
It felt like my heart had dropped to my stomach as I forced out, “W-what . . . did you . . . you said you wouldn’t hurt him!”
“And we haven’t,” he hissed and stalked back to the bed, bending over me enough that I fell back onto the pillows. “They stopped looking for you over a week ago. They all stopped looking for you.”
Fat tears began rolling down my cheeks before I even realized I was crying. “No, he wouldn’t. He can’t. He has to be looking for me . . . right?”
“Rachel.” He reached out for my cheek, but I smacked his arm back and turned away from him. “Please talk to me.”
But there was nothing for me to say to Trent anymore. He’d just confirmed everything I’d feared the other night. Kash probably thought I was dead. And the department, Mason, and Kash had all given up hope of finding me. A hollow feeling had filled me, and I’d wondered if this was what it felt like to give up on life.
Even when I’d been terrified, and afraid that I wouldn’t make it out of here alive, I’d always kept hope that Kash was coming to find me. And now that I knew he wasn’t, I felt my body succumb to the knowledge that I was gone from Kash for good. I hadn’t even felt that way when I’d been with Blake last year, or when Kash and I had broken up.
I was positive that being tortured by Blake was easier than dealing with that sense of loss.
Hours passed before Trent tried to get me out of his bed again. “Come on, we’re going into the kitchen, and you’re going to eat something.”
I didn’t respond.
“Rachel, let’s go. You didn’t eat lunch, and I’m not about to let you starve yourself. Get up.”
When I didn’t make any attempt at even moving, he lifted me out of the bed and walked me toward the door before setting me on my feet. He made sure I wasn’t about to fall over, and when he stood directly in front of me, he sighed heavily and pulled my body close to his. I stumbled over my feet and smacked into his chest but didn’t make a move to get away from it.
“He stopped looking for me. He thinks I’m dead,” I whispered into his chest.
Trent’s arms tightened around me. “I’m sorry.”
“I have—I have to do something. I have to let him know I’m alive.” A thought hit me, and the desperation I’d felt this morning came flooding back to me. I pushed away from Trent, and lunged for the workout equipment blocking the door.
“What are you doing? I’ll get that.”
“I have to get out of here! I have to find him, I have to let him know I’m alive!”
Trent’s arms went around me, pulling my back against his chest. “If you try to get out of here, they will catch you. They won’t let you out, don’t you understand that?”