“Nothing,” she assured me and fanned at her eyes. “I’m just being ridiculous again. I’m happy . . . happy we’re here, happy we’re married, happy that . . . I’m just happy.”
I laughed softly, but unease still gripped at my chest when a lone tear slipped down her cheek. “Rachel . . .”
“No, really, I’m fine.” She laughed and wiped at her cheek. “God, I feel stupid. But I really do have something for you. Will you wait here?”
My eyebrows pulled together as I studied her face. “Depends on where you’re going.”
“I’m just going into the bathroom, I’ll be right back, I swear.” She grabbed my face in both her hands and kissed me soundly before pulling away from me and hopping off the bed.
I watched as she grabbed a large purse that had already been in the room and ran into the bathroom. It felt wrong to sit here and not go after her. I had no idea why she’d started to cry. Had I hurt her?
When a couple minutes had passed, and she hadn’t come back into the room, I slid off the bed and walked to where I’d left my clothes. Grabbing my boxer briefs, I pulled them on, and was about to head to the bathroom when the door opened and she walked out. She had on a pair of lacy black underwear, and a matching bra, but I couldn’t focus on her body for long.
She was worrying her bottom lip and had her hands behind her as she took slow steps toward me.
“Rachel?”
“I told you to wait there.”
I looked back at the bed, then back to her. “I was worried about you. We get married and have mind-blowing sex, and then you start to cry and lock yourself in the bathroom.”
With a deadpan expression, she shook her head. “You’re making it out like I was really upset. I told you I was fine, I was just being ridiculous.”
“Rach—”
“Now sit back down on the bed.” When I didn’t move, she widened her eyes at me. “Sit, or I’m not giving this to you.”
“Fine, I’m sitting.”
She took a deep breath in, and her eyes began watering again as the most beautiful smile crossed her face.
And I was so damn lost.
“This is my wedding present to you,” she said and handed me a thick, black envelope.
I took it from her hand, and kept my eyes on her face as long as I could before finally glancing down at the card. What the hell? There were stickers of Thing 1 and Thing 2 from The Cat in the Hat on the front of the envelope. I turned it around to open it, and read the words in silver lettering: “Will be here March 2015.”
What . . . is this supposed to be like Disney on Ice? Is there a Dr. Seuss on Ice now too? Did she get us tickets or something? That’s just . . . odd. Keep smiling. Keep smiling. I so wasn’t smiling. I was confused as hell. I flicked a glance at her, and the beautifully heartbreaking expression she still wore made me even more confused as I opened the envelope and pulled out the small stack of pictures, and pieces of paper.
The first was a piece of paper that said: “I hope you still want this . . .” I slid it to the bottom of the pile and my heart skipped a beat before taking off when I saw the picture of Rachel holding my cousin’s little baby, Shea.
My body felt hot and cold at the same time as I breathed deeply in and out while I sat there, staring at the picture. From the look of Shea’s outfit, this had been taken on the Fourth of July, before I’d gotten there. Rachel looked beautiful holding her. She always looked beautiful, but I loved seeing her with Shea. And right now, I was doing everything to force myself not to think of this becoming my reality. This could be about to go in a different direction, and I’m just jumping to the conclusion I’ve been wanting.
With a shaky hand, I put the picture on the bottom of the pile, quickly followed by the paper that said: “. . . because this is happening.”
The next picture was of Rachel’s upper body. She had a tight shirt on, and had flipped the bottom of the shirt up so her torso was showing. The same beautiful smile I was seeing on her face now would easily keep my attention on this picture if she hadn’t been holding up her index and middle finger directly in front of her stomach.
I’d stopped breathing. That hot and cold feeling was getting more intense as the silence filled the air with a terrifying excitement. I looked up to see Rachel freely crying, her hands covering her mouth as her bright blue eyes still showed her happiness as she stared at me. Waiting for my reaction. But I couldn’t figure out how to react, this had to be a dream. I’d wanted this; she hadn’t. She wouldn’t be this excited right now . . . right? Was this a trick, was I still not understanding what all this meant?
Somehow, even though I was sitting, I felt my legs weaken and knew I would have ended up on the floor just then if I’d been standing. My whole body felt weak, and at the same time, it felt like I was on top of the damn world.
My eyes left her face and hit her flat stomach. I tried to put the two together, whether I was still trying to understand what she was telling me, or if I was trying to confirm what I was sure I already knew . . . I really don’t know. I gently brought one hand up to her stomach, and a flash of Rachel moving my hands to her stomach just half an hour ago as I’d been undressing her hit me. A huff left me as I realized she had been telling me even then.
“Rachel—” I shook my head in disbelief and looked up at her, a smile pulling at my lips.
“You missed one,” she said and reached for the stack in my hand. Taking it from me, she removed the top picture and put it on the bottom before handing me back the pile. “There they”—she choked on a sob—“there they are.”
“Oh my God.” Any air that was left in my lungs left in a hard rush, and time stopped as I looked at the ultrasound