Blackbird (Redemption 1)

It was the only time I could remember cooking with them. Actually, it was the only time I remembered either of them cooking at all—usually my nanny was the one who’d cooked in our house.

She was the one who had done everything: cooked, cleaned, raised me, taught me how to face my fears . . . She’d been everything my mother didn’t know how to be, until one day she wasn’t. Until my mother decided she wasn’t good for me and sent her away with enough money to ensure that my nanny wouldn’t ever contact me again.

That was the day I learned how disgusting money—and people with it—could truly be.

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t hear him climb the stairs. I was so wrapped up in the ache spreading through my chest I didn’t realize he was even in the kitchen with me until he placed a simple kiss on the side of my neck and moved to lean against the counter so he was facing me.

“Smells incredible,” Lucas murmured appreciatively.

My cheeks warmed and my eyes met his briefly before I focused on the food again. Every inch of my body was still tingling from that kiss, and a part of me was already eagerly anticipating the next.

A small part.

Because at the moment I was just trying not to cry over a bowl of spaghetti.

“Blackbird.” His voice was soft and unsure, but somehow still demanding.

I glanced up again and found dark eyes searching my face.

“What’s wrong? Briar, what’s wrong?” he repeated when I didn’t respond.

I lifted one shoulder and grabbed for a towel to wipe my hands, but I hadn’t finished before Lucas pulled me against him. One hand cradled my neck, his thumb brushed against my jaw and tilted my head back so he could study me more intently.

“Talk to—”

“My parents.” The words were barely a whisper, but they stopped Lucas’s as if I’d screamed them.

He stilled against me for a few beats before his chest moved exaggeratedly. When he spoke again, his tone was dark, yet cautious. Always Lucas. Always the devil. “What about them?”

I let my eyes drift to the counter for a second. “I made this one time with them when I was little. It made me realize I only have a few good memories with them. And I just . . .” I didn’t try to continue, and I didn’t need to say anything more, judging by the way Lucas’s body relaxed for the briefest second before he tightened his arm around me.

“We can eat something else.”

“No,” I said, then laughed softly. “Just sad when you realize you don’t miss your parents at all.”

Lucas hesitated for a moment, then pressed his lips to the top of my head, and lingered there when he spoke. “Go sit down, I’ll bring the food to you.”

I was so caught up in his warmth and understanding I didn’t realize it was the first time he’d let me speak about any part of my life in Atlanta without immediately trying to put an end to it.

I exhaled shakily when he released me and allowed myself one more look into his eyes, then walked out of the kitchen before I could do something like fall back into his arms.

As he’d promised me a few weeks ago, he hadn’t attempted anything sexual. The first time he’d kissed my forehead after that conversation, it’d taken a second too long to realize what he’d done and for me to jerk away from the touch.

Before I could reprimand him, he’d smiled sadly and brushed his thumb across my mouth as he said, “I will not kiss you, Briar.”

I just hadn’t realized during that first conversation that that vow had only included my lips. But more and more often recently I found myself craving those little kisses from him, getting a rush when I finally received them.

And as Lucas handed me a bowl of food and sat down next to me on one of the couches in the sitting room, pulling my feet onto his lap, I realized it wasn’t just the kisses and random touches I craved.

It was him.

It was the routine we had gotten into. It was his words and the side of him I could see struggling so hard to break free.

It was odd knowing he was the reason behind my heartache, while also being the cure. Even more so knowing he was keeping me from life back home, and yet as time passed, if given the chance . . . I wasn’t sure I would leave.

Chapter 23

Day 55 with Briar