Both he and the driver looked up when I walked into the large room, and their conversation immediately stopped.
I tried to stifle the relieved sigh that rushed from me, seeing my devil alive instead of lifeless on his bedroom floor, and cleared my throat. “Um, I can—”
&nbs
p; “Leave,” Lucas demanded, and my heart clenched at the cold tone. But before I could move or let the ache in my chest spread, I realized the order had been for the driver when he turned and headed for the stairs, and Lucas strode toward me.
He hauled me to him, pressed his mouth to mine in a firm, possessive kiss, then leaned back to study my face. “Are you okay?”
Not wanting to go into the nightmares I was trying so hard to push away, I just said, “You weren’t there.”
“I’m sorry,” he said gently, his eyes tightening as he took in the redness of mine. “Tell me what’s going through that mind of yours.”
“You weren’t there,” I repeated, my words now forced as my throat tightened. My eyes burned and tears threatened as I tried to push back the image of his lifeless eyes.
“Blackbird . . .”
“You weren’t there. I can’t lose you.”
Shock and confusion swirled in those dark, dark eyes, and I tried to focus on the mass of emotion in them, tried to focus on the fact that he was holding me, and he was warm. “Lose me?”
“I thought it was you,” I choked out. My next words were rushed and frantic as I explained everything to him while trying to force my tears back. “I know I didn’t imagine your voice, I thought you were on the other side of that door. Then everything happened so fast that all I could comprehend was I had heard your voice, and then I heard a gunshot, and there was someone bleeding out on your carpet. And it took too long for me to absorb that you were standing in front of me and not on the floor. All I could see when I slept was you where he had been, and I can’t lose you.”
One of Lucas’s hands moved to cradle my cheek as he tried to quiet and soothe me, and by the time I had finished talking, he was fighting a smile.
“How are you finding this funny?”
“I’m not,” he said honestly. “What you saw today, what you thought and your fear . . . I would do anything to take that away, Briar.” His mouth suddenly pulled into a devastating smirk despite how serious his tone had been, and humor danced across his face. “I’m just trying to decide if I should be offended that you think I’d let someone kill me.”
“Lucas, if this is truly the world you’ve put yourself in—if you really lived this growing up—you have been so incredibly lucky. You’ve been shot and you’ve been stabbed numerous times, that luck will eventually run out . . . especially if you think you’re untouchable.”
“Untouchable? I’m good at what I do. I’ve had to be. But, untouchable? Hardly. There have been times I was sure it was my last day. My last hour.” His humor faded, and his warm eyes pierced mine. “But I would never let someone take me from you. Not while you’re mine.”
I trailed the tips of my fingers down his cheek and across his full lips. My voice wavered when I asked, “Promise?”
He kissed my wrist then whispered, “Swear to you.” His head dipped, leaving a trail of feather-soft kisses to the sensitive spot behind my ear while chills skated along my skin. “Forever, Blackbird.”
My heart soared as those two words echoed in my mind over and over again. Yes, I wanted forever with this man. I wanted an eternity with his beautiful, clashing heart. I wanted the darkness and light that fought within him. I wanted it all.
“Get us through these two months,” I whispered breathlessly as he nipped at that spot on my neck. “Let me help you destroy this world, and then let me have that forever with whoever you are.”
His hands went to my thighs and lifted me into his arms as he walked us back into my room. His lips brushed my ear when he said, “Our forever started that first night you decided to stay.”
The heat that filled his eyes sent a warm shiver down my spine when he set me on the center of the bed. The possessive way he held me and the predatory smirk that covered his face already had my ragged breaths deepening and a warmth pooling low in my stomach and spreading through my veins.
“Need to feel you. Need to convince myself you’re here the same way you need to.” He tipped my head back and kissed me softly, teasingly. Then his voice dropped, the tone so carnal I nearly came undone right then. “Show me, Briar.”
Lucas’s fingers tightened around my chin as his mouth devoured mine. Taking and taking in his way that always felt like too much, yet not nearly enough. Swallowing each whimper and moan and leaving me with the word “more” on the tip of my tongue when he bit down on my lip, only to back away so he could slip my shirt off my body.
Eyes dark with need and lust met mine before taking in my body again as he laid me back on the bed—the look in them making me feel beautiful and powerful and sensual all at once.
His large hands drifted down my body to grip at my shorts, a moan sounded in the back of my throat when his mouth pressed low on my hips. And in one slow, torturous movement, he pulled my shorts and underwear over my hips and down my legs—his mouth following the material with hot kisses and teasing bites. Each kiss had my thighs clenching, my hands gripping at the comforter, my back arching, and my body aching . . .
“You’re so beautiful,” he said quietly as he leaned forward to press one last kiss to my stomach.
I watched in fascination as he stood and began undressing himself—as if it was the first time he was baring himself to me. Because I had never seen this man before. His scars and tattoos were stark against his tan skin, and now that I knew more about the man behind them, they fit him. The muscles that tensed and rippled with every movement now screamed dangerous and protector—exactly like the contradiction that Lucas was. The good that fought with the bad within him now meant more than ever. Anyone less would have abandoned the good inside themselves long ago if they’d lived his life, but Lucas only gripped tighter to it. Fought for it.
He knelt on the bed and settled between my knees—a wicked, knowing grin tugging at the corner of his mouth when I tried to get closer to the tip of his length, barely brushing against where I ached for him.