Letting Go (Thatch 1)

“I’m not going to elope with Jagger!” I said above their voices and waited for them to stop screaming at me and each other. “I was just trying to show you that I don’t really care what kinds of demands you make. I’m going to move in with Jagger one way or another. Dad, if you try to ground me, I’ll just leave anyway. Mom, stop bringing up the subject of using protection, and don’t worry, I wouldn’t get married without you there. And, Graham, just calm down. I love you all but I’m going to do this; this is what I want to do. I’m not wasting time anymore waiting for the right time for things. The right time isn’t set by any rules society makes; the right time is when you’re ready for it—whatever it may be. And right now is the right time for me to make up for all the lost time with Jag, and start my life with him. Okay?”

Everyone was silent for a minute as they continued to stare at me. Graham looked annoyed, Mom looked ridiculously happy, and Dad’s expression was unreadable until he opened his mouth again.

“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”

“Mark,” Mom chastised.

“Oh my God,” I groaned, and got up from the table. “I’m not pregnant. End of that discussion. I really wanted this all to go differently—smoother. I wanted to just talk to you about my decision, but you all started freaking out and I had to stop you. Like I said, I love you. I just have to do this, okay?”

When no one answered, I walked out of the kitchen and took off for my room, where I’d already packed most of my things. Minutes after I got in there, Graham was walking in and plopping down on my bed.

“That was intense,” I mumbled as I packed.

“Yeah, well . . .” He trailed off and looked around my room. “Promise you’re not already married or pregnant and just don’t want to say anything?”

“Graham. I promise. I just want to be with him, that’s all. This wouldn’t be a huge to-do if you were moving in with some girl, but because I’m the youngest and the girl, it’s like all hell breaks loose.”

“Exactly.”

I stopped on my way back to one of my drawers and turned to look at him. “What do you mean ‘exactly’? That’s not fair to me. Why do the rules have to be different because I’m younger and female?”

“Because you’re still their baby or whatever.” Graham snorted as he lay back on my bed. “They want to keep you as long as they can. And girls are expected to be the ones who don’t do the stupid shit.”

“And moving out is considered stupid shit?” I asked in a monotone voice with one eyebrow raised.

“With a guy you’ve only been dating for a couple months? Yeah.”

“I’ve known him since I was six! We’ve been best friends since we were nine. Mom, Dad, and you all know him as well as you knew Ben—hell, you know him as well as you know me.”

Graham turned his head so he could give me a dry look. “Yeah, that’s not the point, though. Think about it this way: I move in with some girl I started seeing a month or two ago. Sound stupid?”

“Of course it does, because you’re with different girls all the time, and no one would expect you to actually want to stay with just her for any amount of time! And like I just said . . . I’ve known Jagger for sixteen years! You can’t compare that with you meeting some chick and deciding you wanted to see her for more than a week.”

“But what if I didn’t just meet her? What if I grew up with her too?”

I laughed and dropped my head back to stare at the ceiling for a moment. “Still can’t compare it. You haven’t touched Thatch girls in who knows how long because you, Deacon, and Knox went through all of them long ago. So to go through your whore-ish ways for all these years, and then decide you want to do what Mom’s been suggesting and actually settle down, and even more, if you decided to do it with a girl you hardly knew . . . well, it would seem stupid on both your parts. Even though I was with Ben all that time, I was never apart from Jagger. He’s been a constant most of my life.”

Graham’s eyes narrowed for a few seconds, but his mouth never opened.

“Come on,” I challenged. “Give me something else so I can shut you down again.”

With a heavy sigh, Graham lay back down. “That was all I had.”

“It was weak.”

“Hey, I had to try and I didn’t have a whole hell of a lot I could go off of. It’s not like any of us have anything bad to say about Jagger that I could’ve used. But I still say you shouldn’t move in with him.”

“Fine, I’ll move in with you. I’m sure Deacon and Knox will be happy,?

?? I offered, and Graham gave me a look like I’d just suggested the most disturbing thing imaginable.

“Fuck. No. Move in with Jagger!”

“If you insist,” I said in a singsong voice, and went back to packing.

“That was evil.”

“If you say so.”