My life was perfect. My son was healthy and incredibly smart, he and I both had a great relationship with my parents and brother, and I was supporting us well enough that we lived in a great complex and I could give him whatever he wanted. Eh, well, to an extent. But why mess that up by throwing a guy into the picture?
“Mom, I’m not bringing anyone.”
“You need a man in your life . . . Parker needs a dad.”
Damn it. I hated when she involved Parker . . . she knew how that got to me. “He has Keegan and Dad.”
“Keegan only comes home every other weekend if he’
s not deployed.”
Keegan had joined the army after deciding college wasn’t for him, two years in. I was so proud of him, and thankful he was stationed only a little over an hour from Denver so he could come home often. “And he’s getting out soon, so he’ll be around more.”
“I know you can do this on your own, Reagan. But that doesn’t mean you have to or should.”
“Dating would be exhausting for me . . . and I don’t want to put Parker through that.” I chewed on my bottom lip for a second as I debated whether or not I should voice my fears. With a hard breath, I told her the rest quickly. “Austin didn’t want him, I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I let someone into our life and he decided he didn’t want Parker either.”
“Reagan,” she crooned, her voice wavering. “They won’t all be like him.”
“I know, I just—I’m not ready for that possibility. You know? I can take the rejection . . . just not if they reject him.”
“I understand, sweetheart. I really do. But I’ll never stop praying for the perfect man for you and Parker.”
I wanted to tell her that even if he was out there, I probably wouldn’t give him the time of day; but the way she was talking broke my heart, so I kept my mouth shut. I knew everyone in my family wanted that for Parker and me, and it’s not that I didn’t want that for us either. I just couldn’t imagine myself taking that leap of faith in someone else. Someone who could potentially ruin us forever.
Coen—July 30, 2010
“SACO, MAN, YOU can’t let her fucking do this to you. It’s your fucking kid, she can’t just keep him from you.”
“What am I supposed to do? Try to get custody of him from my own wife? I’ve never even seen him before. I was gone through Liv’s pregnancy, the delivery, and for the first three months of his life. No judge is going to grant me custody.”
“So you’re actually going to listen to her? This is bullshit.”
“I know, Steele, but I have no choice. I need to be able to see my son. I’m already waiting on this realtor to go look at some places. I’ll call you when I have news, yeah?”
“Yeah, all right. Sorry this is happening, man, I really am.”
“Me too.” An exhausted sigh sounded through the phone. “Later.”
I pressed END, and looked over at Hudson. “His bitch wife is making him buy them a house before she’ll let him meet their son.”
“The fuck?” Hudson balked, and lowered himself into a chair. “Can she do that?”
I shrugged and tossed my phone onto my dresser. “Apparently, because he’s meeting with a realtor.”
Our friend, Brody Saco, had gotten out of the army not even a week ago. He’d been planning on making this a career, but all that had changed when his girl from back home wound up pregnant. He’d married her immediately, and ever since then, she’d refused to see him or let him meet their son—and it’d been a year since their wedding. I could respect him for taking responsibility, but we all felt bad for him because he’d blindly gone into a shit storm with her.
“What are you doing this weekend?” Hudson asked me, and it was then I noticed his backpack sitting at his feet.
“Got some shoots booked in the area. You heading home?”
He nodded and drummed his hands on the arms of the chair. “Yeah, I missed my nephew’s birthday last weekend, I need to go see him and my sister.”
“All right, I’ll see you when you get back.”
“If you don’t feel like coming back to base between your shoots, hit me up, you can stay at my parents’ place or something.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks though.”