"I snapped at Harper," Hayley began as they helped her up and started upstairs.
"He's been snapped at before. "
"But I wish I hadn't. He was helping you surprise me, and I gave him a terrible time. He said I was always crawling up his ass, and that's just what I was doing. "
"You'll tell him you're sorry. " Roz turned them toward the west wing, moved passed Stella's room, and Hayley's. "Here you are, honey. "
She opened the door and led Hayley inside.
"Oh, God. Oh, my God. " Hayley pressed both hands to her mouth as she stared at the room.
It was painted a soft, quiet yellow, with lace curtains at the windows.
She knew the crib was antique. Nothing was that beautiful, that rich unless it was old and treasured. The wood gleamed, deep with red highlights. She recognized the layette as one she'd dreamed over in a magazine and had known she could never afford.
"The furniture's a loan while you're here. I used it for my children, as my mama did for hers, and hers before her, back more than eighty-five years now. But the linens are yours, and the changing table. Stella added the rug and the lamp. And David and Harper, bless their hearts, painted the room, and hauled the furniture down from the attic. "
As emotions swamped her, Hayley could only shake her head.
"Once we bring your gifts up here, you'll have yourself a lovely nursery. " Stella rubbed Hayley's back.
"It's so beautiful. More than I ever dreamed of. I - I've been missing my father so much. The closer the baby gets, the more I've been missing him. It's this ache inside. And I've been feeling sad and scared, and mostly just sorry for myself. "
She used her hands to rub the tears from her cheeks. "Now today, all this, it just makes me feel. . . It's not the things. I love them, I love everything. But it's that you'd do this, both of you would do this for us. "
"You're not alone, Hayley. " Roz laid a hand on Hayley's belly. "Neither one of you. "
"I know that. I think, well, I think, we'd have been okay on our own. I'd've worked hard to make sure of it. But I never expected to have real family again. I never expected to have people care about me and the baby like this. I've been stupid. "
"No," Stella told her. "Just pregnant. "
With a half laugh, Hayley blinked back the rest of the tears. "I guess that accounts for a lot of it. I won't be able to use that excuse too much longer. And I'll never, I'll just never be able to thank you, or tell you, or repay you. Never. "
"Oh, I think naming the baby after us will clear the decks," Roz said casually. "Especially if it's a boy. Rosalind Stella might be a little hard for him to handle in school, but it's only right. "
"Hey, I was thinking Stella Rosalind. "
Roz arched a brow at Stella. 'This is one of those rare cases when it pays to be the oldest. "
* * *
That night, Hayley tiptoed into the nursery. Just to touch, to smell, to sit in the rocking chair with her hands stroking her belly.
"I'm sorry I've been so nasty lately. I'm better now. We're going to be all right now. You've got two fairy godmothers, baby. The best women I've ever known. I may not be able to pay them back for all they've done for us, not in some ways. But I swear, there's nothing either of them could ask that I wouldn't do. I feel safe here. It was stupid of me to forget that. We're a team, you and me. I shouldn't've been afraid of you. Or for you. "
She closed her eyes and rocked. "I want to hold you in my arms so much they hurt. I want to dress you in one of those cute little outfits and hold you, and smell you, and rock you in this chair. Oh, God, I hope I know what I'm doing. "
The air turned cold, raising gooseflesh on her arms. But it wasn't fear that had her opening her eyes; it was pity. She stared at the woman who stood beside the crib.
Her hair was down tonight, golden blond and wildly tangled. She wore a white nightgown, muddy at the hem. And there was a look of - Hayley would have said madness - in her eyes.
"You didn't have anyone to help you, did you?" Her hands trembled a bit, but she kept stroking her belly, kept her eyes on the figure, kept talking.
"Maybe you didn't have anyone to be there with you when you were afraid like I've been. I guess I might've gone crazy, too, all on my own. And I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to my baby. Or how I'd stand it, if something happened to take me away from him - her. Even if I were dead I couldn't stand it. So I guess I understand, a little. "
At her words, Hayley heard a keening sound, a sound that made her think of a soul, or a mind, shattering.
Then she was alone.