Under the Cowboy's Control

"Take it from an old man, son. You ought to just get it over with and marry that girl.

She wouldn't put up a fuss about it, and you know you want to."

"Shit no, I don't want to." The thought was tempting, though.

"Are you sure? You want to give up all that food? The nice house? The clean laundry? You haven't once thought about having the right to the beautiful little senorita in your bed at night? What, you got no balls, boy?"

Travis scowled. "Listen, old man. Don't piss me off." Travis turned and raked his fingers through his hair in agitation. "I've thought about it all right. I've been thinking of that for every godforsaken day since she came here."

Juan paused a moment and then said, "Listen. My sister lives in San Benito. She's almost seventy. She's going to need help soon. We can take the little missy there and she can live with my sister."

Travis rejected the idea instantaneously and scowled. "No. She stays here."

Juan sighed and exhaled deeply. "Don't take advantage of her. I brought her here. I feel responsible for her. I couldn't live with myself if you ruined her and tossed her away. Don't do that to her. Don't do that to an old man." He shook his head sadly and walked out the back door.

Travis stood still while tension pulsed through him. The situation had him tied in knots. He was momentarily distracted when a loud growl came from his empty stomach. He was starving and Selena was incapacitated enough that he had to find his own food. The thought of the rubber eggs and burnt bacon that he knew Slim would be serving in the bunkhouse kitchen made his stomach roil. On top of that, all the hands would be asking a million questions about why Selena hadn't cooked his breakfast. The idea of the men speculating and possibly finding out something so private about her made his protective instincts rise. She would be horrified if the men knew what was going on. He would eat his breakfast here if it would help protect her privacy.

A few minutes later, he thought that idea was easier said than done. He hadn't cooked for himself in a long time. Until Selena came along, he had eaten all his meals with the men in the bunkhouse kitchen.

A dark mood settled over him as he threw six pieces of bread on the counter and began to smear them with peanut butter and jelly. The meal was unappetizing to say the least, but the worst thing was that with every bite, he realized more and more how much he had gotten used to her. The only thing that calmed his turmoil was the knowledge that she was down the hallway, asleep in her bed.

He refused to think about how he would feel if it was otherwise.

Selena was still incapacitated at lunchtime, but at six o'clock that evening, when Travis came in through the back door, she was moving around the kitchen slowly, like a pale, slender wraith.

He had had a lot of time to think things through today. His mind was still in turmoil, but there was a certain code he lived by, and there were a coup

le of indelible facts that he couldn't get away from. The first was that he wanted her in his bed and under him with a hunger that would haunt him for the rest of his life if he couldn't have her. And the second was if he wanted to be able to look himself in the face every morning, he couldn't take advantage of her situation and her innocence in a less than honorable way.

Selena balanced herself on the counter, preparing his meal.

"Baby, you need to be back in bed." His voice was low and gentle.

Selena smiled softly at him and shook her head slightly. "No. I am fine now." She turned to face him fully. "I am sorry but there is only ham and cheese sandwiches for supper. If that is not okay, Slim can--"

He cut her off. He had eaten her ham and cheese sandwiches before. They were piping hot and grilled to perfection. He damn sure didn't want to eat Slim's food.

"No. The sandwiches are fine. Do you need some help?" He took the first few steps toward her.

"No. Y-yes. C-can you carry this plate to the table for me?" Her hands shook slightly as she pointed to the large plate of sandwiches.

"Sure. Selena, you're weak. You need to sit down and eat." He moved to the counter and picked up the sandwiches and put them on the table. "Christ, have you not had anything to eat all day?" Why the hell hadn't he thought about her not eating? What kind of a selfish bastard was he?

Selena hesitated and shook her head. Until recently, her mother had always taken care of her during these episodes. But she hadn't had her mother during the last six months, and she knew that she would survive. She always did.

Travis saw the cans of soup on the counter and knew what she planned. She swayed slightly in front of him and he reached out and picked her up and moved her over to a kitchen chair. "Sit there. Don't move."

He began opening and dumping the soup into bowls to zap in the microwave.

Grabbing two plates, he put a sandwich in front of her. "Start on that."

Selena smiled weakly and took a few bites while he prepared the soup and put the bowls on the table. At first, she felt horribly nauseous when the food hit her empty stomach. But she ate small slow bites, and soon she was feeling much better.

Travis sat down with her and steadily made his way through the food. When he was finished, he began clearing off the table and stacking the dishes in the sink.

She made a motion to get up.

"Just sit. You're not cleaning this up tonight. The dishes can soak overnight in the sink."