We turn a corner, race down another busy street. Nadia leads me across the road, weaving through traffic, wincing at the blaring horns but otherwise taking no notice of the cars. Another corner, then another. Finally, in a quiet alley, she stops, releases me, squats beside a wall, leans her head against it, stares up at the clear blue sky — and whoops.
“We did it! You’re a genius, Kernel! You got us out!” She looks at me with happy tears in her eyes. “I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”
I smile at Nadia, then frown and look around nervously.
“It’s all right,” Nadia reassures me. “They can’t track us. We’re safe. We’re alive!”
“Raz isn’t,” I note quietly.
Nadia’s smile dims. “That was a shame. I liked Raz.”
“And what about Beranabus and Sharmila?” I ask, guilt setting in. “We ran out. Left them to the demons. We should go back and —”
“No!” Nadia snaps. “No going back.” Her eyes glitter. I take a step backwards — she looks like she’s going to attack. She notices my fear and relaxes. “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you. But we’re not going back. We couldn’t do any good if we did.”
“But... the others?”
She shrugs. “Beranabus will probably survive. He’s come through worse. He’ll wriggle free somehow. As for Sharmila.. .” She sighs. “Maybe Beranabus will save her. Maybe not.”
She stands and looks at the sky. Lightly runs a finger across her cheeks, caressing the spots and acne scars. “It’s warm. Must be late spring or summer. Maybe it’s June. That’s my favorite month. It’s when I was born, and when Beranabus took me. I was out walking, a perfect June day, dreaming about my birthday, presents and the future. Looking forward to growing up. I was a plain child, dowdy. But my father said I was an ugly duckling, that I’d turn into a beautiful, glamorous swan one day.
“I was thinking about that — longing for it — when Beranabus spirited me away. Dropped me into the universe of the Demonata. Explained how important I was, all the lives I could save, the good I could do. Offered me no choice. Robbed me of my dreams of a happy future.”
Nadia’s expression darkens. “He shouldn’t have taken me so young. I hadn’t seen enough of the world. If he’d come when I was older, I’d have joined him gladly. But taking me like he did... stealing me like that demon stole your brother... it was wrong. Don’t you agree, Kernel?”
I stare at her uncertainly. Now that she’s mentioned Art, it drives home the fact that I didn’t just run out on Beranabus and Sharmila. I deserted my brother too. Left him in that nightmarish universe. Alone in the hands of Cadaver.
“We have to go back,” I say softly.
Nadia doesn’t hear — or pretends she doesn’t. “I wonder where we are?” she says brightly. “London? New York? Paris? Vienna? The world’s changed so much since I left, I suppose I wouldn’t recognize the cities I visited when I was younger. But there must be parts that are the same. I hope this is —”
“Nadia,” I interrupt. “We have to go back. Find them. Help them if they’re still fighting, link up with them if they’ve escaped.”
“And if they’re dead?” she answers, not looking at me.
“I don’t know. Search for Art by ourselves, I guess.”
She laughs. “You’re brave but stupid, Kernel. You wouldn’t last five minutes in that universe without Beranabus. You’re good at opening windows but not at fighting. What would you do if you caught up with Cadaver? He’d rip you to shreds without breaking a sweat.”
“But...Art...I have to —”
“Your brother’s dead,” Nadia growls. “Cadaver probably killed him on that first world and fed his body to one of the trees.”
“No,” I moan. “He’s alive. I sense it.”
“You want to sense it,” she corrects me. “You want him to be alive, so you’ve convinced yourself he is. But think about it. Why wouldn’t Cadaver kill him? He was on the run. He didn’t have time to play nursemaid to a squalling baby.”
A kid on a skateboard turns into the alley and whizzes past us. Nadia stares at the skateboard, head cocked, probably in much the same way that I stared when I first saw a demon.
“I’ve missed so much,” she mutters. “The world’s moved on while I’ve been fighting. So many places to see. So many things to do. Is it true you can fly anywhere now, in aeroplanes?”
“Nadia,” I try again, “Beranabus needs us. We can’t abandon him.”
“Why not?” she retorts. “You’ve only known him five minutes. He treated you like a slave, the way he treats everyone. What do you owe him? Why throw your life away on his account?”
“I need him to help get Art back. I can’t —”
“Stop talking about your brother like he’s alive!” Nadia shouts. “Let him go. Admit he’s dead. Move on. You can go home — I’ll help find your parents. Forget about the Demonata. Pretend it was a bad dream. That’s what I’m going to do.”