“Why not?” Vosch asked. “If there was something that loves us, how do you explain that?” He pointed over my head at the skulls on the ledge.
“Who said anything about love?” Flat-Face II answered with a rumbling laugh. “I’m just saying you can’t say for absolutely one-hundred percent there ain’t anything. It can’t be all random.”
“Why not?” Vosch asked. “Randomness explains it just as well. Better, in fact.”
“I told you,” Weasel said crossly. “The kid killed off all the knights, and that pissed God off. It’s what God does to people who piss him off. Like how he smote the Egyptians, all those plagues and such.”
“What kind of God is that?” Vosch said.
“The kind you don’t piss off,” Weasel said.
“I think we should let Alfred settle this,” Vosch said. “What do you think, Alfred? God is there, but you’ve upset him terribly and he’s punishing you, letting you die a slow and painful death? Or God is there and he is as indifferent and bored as a teenager at a bad movie, texting his saints while he waits for the closing credits to roll? Or God is there not at all, and heaven is merely the empty space between the stars? What do you say? Do you say, ‘Wherefore I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes’? Or do you say, ‘Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani’? Or do you simply say, ‘Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink’? Speak up, Alfred. Settle our debate.”
“He’ll be here soon,” I said. It hurt to talk.
“Right!” Vosch said sarcastically. He thought I was talking about the Archangel, but I wasn’t. I pushed myself up, using the hard stone behind me for support, and stumbled toward the cave’s mouth. They didn’t come after me. They just kept arguing about God.
I fell to my knees on the shore of the little inlet. I coughed, and my mouth filled with blood. I began to crawl toward the steps. I could hear the rise and fall of their voices as they continued the argument. Was God there or not there? And if he was there, what was he doing there? Why wasn’t he doing anything down here? Over my head, the stars seared through the blackness around them, and the stars were silent about it.
I began the slow climb up the stairs.
He would come. I knew he would come.
I wanted to be there when he did.
00:00:12:44
The helicopter that brought him came in from the east, silhouetted against a crimson sun.
I was waiting for him at the edge of the cliff. Three hundred feet below, the incoming tide smashed against the jagged stones that rose from the sea like the teeth of the dragon from my dreams.
The chopper landed. I stood. I wouldn’t be able to stand for long: I had lost too much blood.
Out hopped a tall, thin man dressed in an expensive suit and carrying a gold-handled black cane. Next, a very tall, gray-looking guy with a hound-dog face and enormous hands, and finally a lithe blue-eyed blonde.
The three of them walked toward me, picking their way between the white stones of Arthur’s castle.
I raised my hand. They stopped.
“Alfred,” Nueve said. “You are expecting us?”
“Nueve,” I said, and the word caused a fiery stab of pain deep within my chest. “You know you should avoid asking questions you already know the answers to. People will think you’re stupid.”
I couldn’t stay up any longer. I went down to my knees and Sam rushed forward. He caught me before I landed face-first on the rocky ground. He pulled my head into his lap. His hand touched my side. He felt the wetness there, and his long fingers explored my wound.
“Start the chopper!” he called to Nueve. “We’ve got to get him to a hospital immediately.”
“No,” I said.
He looked down into my face, puzzled. “We’re taking you to headquarters, Alfred. Director Smith has arranged for you to plead your case personally before the board.”
“No, Sam,” I said. “I go to the board . . . beg them not to use me to create the perfect army . . . and maybe they say yes, but it can’t change the fact that anytime they change their mind or some power-hungry jerk”—I looked at Nueve— “decides to change it for them, I can be snatched and lobotomized and drained to feed baby SOFIA. Or the day when they decide it’s just too dangerous having me in the world and they hit the button . . .”
I choked up. I had had a lot of time by the ruins of Camelot, and sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes it isn’t. I wasn’t sure about this time, but I was pretty sure I knew the-thing-that-must-be-done.
“And if OIPEP doesn’t decide to finish SOFIA, somebody else will.”
“You don’t know that, Alfred,” Sam said.