“That’s how you got into it?”
“It’s what got me thinking about it, yeah. When I was sixteen, seventeen, I was shaping up to be a bad seed. I’m sure you remember. ”
She considered his teenage antics. “Wild child, maybe. But egging the teacher’s car seems far from bad seed material. ”
“Either way, it doesn’t make for a very good man, does it?”
“What about your parents?” She didn’t know his dad well, but Marlene was such a lovely woman. “Surely they rode you about stuff. ”
“I was the last one out of the house, and by the time I was a junior, senior, they were pretty involved in their own worlds. I’m sure Dad was probably having his affair by then, which on some level I’m sure my mom knew about. And it’s not like I got arrested or anything. I got decent grades, didn’t do drugs. Still, I thought I was a real son of a bitch. But then my brother showed me what a man really is, and that it’s not some bad-ass with a fast car and a bottle of Southern Comfort. ”
“So you really were as naughty as all the girls said. ”
“In all the right ways, darlin’,” he told her with a wink. His grin had lightened the mood, but after a moment’s silence, he turned serious again. “I guess the bottom line is, it’s important to me these kids learn what I did the hard way. That feeling good about themselves comes from inside. Not from a bottle or a fistfight. That strength, courage, self-worth…they’ve got to find it inside. ”
His words hit her hard. Was she any wiser than these kids? Her self-worth had always been so wrapped up in the trappings of her success. In the car, the fancy gym membership, the clothes. Of course, that stuff didn’t fulfill her. It was just stuff.
“I want to meet them,” she said suddenly.
He looked stunned by that. “The kids?”
She gave him a shy smile. “Hopefully not the skunks. ”
The sun had dipped below the mountains. She wore only her flimsy blue sundress, and her bare arms prickled into goose bumps. She hunched into herself with a little shiver.
“Hey”—he scooted closer, chafing warmth into her arms—“let’s go in. ”
She looked off to the meadow. A cool breeze had picked up, but it’d set the wildflowers dancing. “I don’t want to go in yet. ”
“There’s always my hot tub,” he said playfully, his laugh sexy and teasing. But then he stood, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Seriously, I’ll run grab you a fleece. ”
“Actually”—she snagged his hand, stopping him—“I kinda like the sound of that hot tub. ”
Twenty-eight
Eddie looked at her like he didn’t understand. “I’ve got a fleece I can lend you,” he said slowly, “but there’s no bathing suit. At least not one that’d fit. ” The line was funny, but he’d knit his brows into a serious expression, watching her, waiting to hear her reply.
She stood. Made herself hold his gaze. “I know. ”
She knew what she wanted. To have needs didn’t make a woman weak, she knew that now. She could be vulnerable with a man like Eddie and still be safe. Losing control was sometimes a good thing.
“Where is this hot tub?” she asked, while inside she complimented herself on how brave she sounded.
And there was no reason to be afraid anyhow. She thought of all the reasons why it’d be okay. The beige bra and panties she’d worn under her sundress were probably more sensible than her actual bikini. She didn’t need to manage every situation. Not everything needed to be perfect and planned.
“It’s around the side,” he said.
“Can we use it?”
He gave her a smile, looking eager and wary both. “You’re not kidding?”
She pretended outrage. “Can we get in your hot tub or not?”
“Sugar, you don’t have to ask me twice. ” He snatched her hand and led her around to the side of the house.
It was a whole other world there, with an outdoor shower, a hammock, and a shining red barbecue. “Red truck, red barbecue…you like the color red, don’t you?”
He came up close and traced her shoulder, tugging aside the cap sleeve to reveal her thin bra strap. “Right now, I’m liking pink. ”