A Dirty Job (Grim Reaper 1)

Charlie jumped back - a lean and nimble thirty, he was - then, once he realized that the baby wasn't loaded, he straightened the lapels on his tweed jacket in a gesture of righteous indignation. "You could have removed her tail in the delivery room and we'd never know. " He didn't know. He'd been asked to leave the delivery room, first by the ob-gyn and finally by Rachel. ("Him or me," Rachel said. "One of us has to go. ")

In Rachel's room, Charlie said: "If they removed her tail, I want it. She'll want it when she gets older. "

"Sophie, your Papa isn't really insane. He just hasn't slept for a couple of days. "

"She's looking at me," Charlie said. "She's looking at me like I blew her college money at the track and now she's going to have to turn tricks to get her MBA. "

Rachel took his hand. "Honey, I don't think her eyes can even focus this early, and besides, she's a little young to start worrying about her turning tricks to get her MFA. "

"MBA," Charlie corrected. "They start very young these days. By the time I figure out how to get to the track, she could be old enough. God, your parents are going to hate me. "

"And that would be different how?"

"New reasons, that's how. Now I've made their granddaughter a shiksa. "

"She's not a shiksa, Charlie. We've been through this. She's my daughter, so she's as Jewish as I am. "

Charlie went down on one knee next to the bed and took one of Sophie's tiny hands between his fingers. "Daddy's sorry he made you a shiksa. " He put his head down, buried his face in the crook where the baby met Rachel's side. Rachel traced his hairline with her fingernail, describing a tight U-turn around his narrow forehead.

"You need to go home and get some sleep. "

Charlie mumbled something into the covers. When he looked up there were tears in his eyes. "She feels warm. "

"She is warm. She's supposed to be. It's a mammal thing. Goes with the breast-feeding. Why are you crying?"

"You guys are so beautiful. " He began arranging Rachel's dark hair across the pillow, brought a long lock down over Sophie's head, and started styling it into a baby hairpiece.

"It will be okay if she can't grow hair. There was that angry Irish singer who didn't have any hair and she was attractive. If we had her tail we could transplant plugs from that. "

"Charlie! Go home!"

"Your parents will blame me. Their bald shiksa granddaughter turning tricks and getting a business degree - it will be all my fault. "

Rachel grabbed the buzzer from the blanket and held it up like it was wired to a bomb. "Charlie, if you don't go home and get some sleep right now, I swear I'll buzz the nurse and have her throw you out. "

She sounded stern, but she was smiling. Charlie liked looking at her smile, always had; it felt like approval and permission at the same time. Permission to be Charlie Asher.

"Okay, I'll go. " He reached to feel her forehead. "Do you have a fever? You look tired. "

"I just gave birth, you squirrel!"

"I'm just concerned about you. " He was not a squirrel. She was blaming him for Sophie's tail, that's why she'd said squirrel, and not doofus like everyone else.

"Sweetie, go. Now. So I can get some rest. "

Charlie fluffed her pillows, checked her water pitcher, tucked in the blankets, kissed her forehead, kissed the baby's head, fluffed the baby, then started to rearrange the flowers that his mother had sent, moving the big stargazer lily in the front, accenting it with a spray of baby's breath -

"Charlie!"

"I'm going. Jeez. " He checked the room, one last time, then backed toward the door.

"Can I bring you anything from home?"

"I'll be fine. The ready kit you packed covered everything, I think. In fact, I may not even need the fire extinguisher. "

"Better to have it and not need it, than to need it - "

"Go! I'll get some rest, the doctor will check Sophie out, and we'll take her home in the morning. "